LITTLE-MISS-WENDY

2012, HUAT AH!

2012-01-23T22:35:00.001+08:00

Happy CNY!

Just came home from maternal granny's place. Kinda relief I'm back cos I jus cannt stand the heat there.

Living on top of the hill is like staying under the big sun in the afternoon & in the forest at night.

No matter where you hide, the heat is just unbearable but I love the night cos it's damn cooling.

Didn't manage to head over to my paternal side cos of time constrain. I miss them!

I know I'm on diet but I hav been like taking all the junk, fried & oily stuff for the past few days. Oh damn! Just Connot resist the temptation.

The homemade bua kua, the crackers & so many more!! Yummeh!

Gonna recuperate for the next 2 days as I'm super lack of sleep. Late night rest & early wake up. Spamming my mask pack.

Anyway, hopefully it's a good dragon year!! :)

FMLTTM!

2012-01-14T21:37:00.001+08:00

I'm always feeling lazy during weekends that I don't even bother to turn on my lappy. I'm blogging on mobile!

I have got so many things running in my mind. My life is screwed, seriously. So many to rant but doesn't know where to start from. Numerous obstacle I need to overcome. I'm so sick & tired of work. Stupid fucking clinic!

Had a spiritual afternoon with Jas. Visited the temple to do some praying as last year was a lousy year. 拜太岁 & 解嵌. Need to purify myself. First time doing such prayers & was kinda lost!

The uncle denotes the message & brought us to another place to look for this ah mei for chanting. It was sure scary!

Walk up the stairs halfway & we both suddenly stop halfway as we saw alot of aunty sitting in a row and they were staring at the stairs. They shouted 来拜拜吗 together!

The aunty asked me to kneel down, gave me 3 joystick & started chanting but I dont understand a single word. I only heard my name.

She pray for the success of sch, family, work & safety. Oh well I'm not a very superstitious & holy girl. But I believe sometimes you will feel better with some spiritual help.

Hopefully everything goes well got me!

School is starting next week & I'm not really prepared for the challenge. Oh dang! The modules are getting tougher. Not easy to deal with stress from work as well as school.

Have been growing sideways recently due to stress. Have been in a dieting program for the 3rd day.

Would u mind swallowing 31 pills a day and get thin in a healthy way in return?

It may seems scary, but I'm confident of the results. 3 months of suffering in return for a sexy & hot body, I don't mind to take up such challenge.

Can't wait to see the results but I have to be patience & discipline. Will blog about this superb product soon. :)

Who doesn't wan a sexy & hot body?

Twins Affaire

2012-01-03T18:22:00.002+08:00

The long holidays are gonna end soon! On an unplanned leave & ended up on a movie treat with my twin sis. Oh gonna start working again tomorrow! BOOHOO!

Oh, i guess nobody knows i have a twin sis. Wassnt very close to her before but recently we are going out together very often. Yes, she is my age & we share the same birthday! We used to look alike last time when we were young but not anymore now!

People say "Looks change when a girl turns 18!"

Yes, i must agree to that. Change ultra lot since after 18. Hopefully im changing for the better. Work changes your attitude, behavior & thinking! Age change your looks too. I hope im still maintaining that young teenager face! *fingers cross*
Wasnt aware of the date today & i forgot, primary & secondary school reopened today! Oh damn, gonna have ultra packed train & bus everyday! Hate it, hate it! And moreover, the train frequency are getting longer & longer.

SMRT, buck up man!! We need a better train service! More frequency & faster in speed. Most of my time is spent hours on traveling.

Oh, im gonna spend more time on blogging. I know im lack of time but i will try. School takes it all.. ..

Hello 2012!

2012-01-02T14:40:00.000+08:00

2011 was not a good year for me. Kinda relief that its over. This entire year, i have learnt alot. Living in a depressive mode and learning how to stand alone & be independent. Moreover, i made a choice & took the biggest step in my life that is to further my studies which i have not thought of over the years.

Im glad i got over a lot of obstacles by myself. Its was not easy, i swear!

Now that Enie quit school & left me alone fighting the battle in school for the rest of the sem, my motivation for school dropped quite a little. I knew there are more to come especially in the coming sem but i will stay strong & work hard for my future. I believe 2012 is gonna be an exciting year for me too.

2011 prepared me to be tough so that i would be strong for whats coming in 2012.

2012 FTW~

I hope everything will be smooth for me & my loved ones. :)

Grant Me A Wish, Santa!

2011-12-25T01:25:00.000+08:00

Merry Xmas!

First year of lonely xmas without you. Oh well, that will not kill.

And whats best is, im typing my report during xmas. Lifeless freak. Gonna stay home the entire day to rest for the next 2 days. Pretty much sleep deprived during the weekdays due to lesson. Exams are over & im still having lesson till the first week of next year.

I cant wait for the 2 weeks break, say bye to sem 2 & hi to sem 3. Cant wait to get this done asap...

Dear Santa, could you grant me my wish?

PREGNANT?

2011-12-15T13:44:00.000+08:00

Have been feeling nausea after food recently. Throwing out almost everyday for the past few days just like a preggy. Well, its kinda of the right time because i need some serious dieting. Am feeling FAT!

Googled & tadah!
"Nausea are signs & symptoms of stress!"

Been mugging for the upcoming exam this Sun. Its a mess because the textbook provided are not very relevant and the slides given are very brief. Need to depend on this borrowed textbook with just found missing pages which im not sure if its sufficient. But nonetheless, just need to get the basic right!

Wish time would slow down for me to study, rest & enjoy my break. Declaration of war is gonna start again next week. Looks like the good old days are over!

Pray hard for me. Thank you.

Repetition.

2011-12-07T20:25:00.001+08:00

Life is not like a life now.
Work > School > Home

Good news is, sem one has come to an end. Received my overall results. Ok, did fairly well for management but not for accounting. Sem 2 is coming to an end & exams are 2 weeks down the road. Just about to start my revision.

Gonna skipped lesson all the way till exam. Sorry Morgan! 3 assignments down, one more to go and exam marks the end of the sem. Received timetable for Sem 3 & its gonna be hectic again. Cant wait to finish this course but i still got a long way to go!!

Just felt like i have finished my exams a week ago & exams are approaching again. Am having exams every 2-3 monthly! I kept reminding myself to be motivated & be studious. Getting to know my results tinkle me alittle. Well, glad that all my classmate made it through sem 1!

Alrighty, off to mug for exams!

"GOOD" DAMN THING!

2011-11-13T10:57:00.001+08:00

Its dying inside me. I need a break from the whole damn thing (not studies)! Its somehow defined as a pot call the kettle black. Throughout this one year, i really realized that not all humans are as nice and stuff. They may be very nice to you, but you will never know what they did behind you.

I know this is the real world despite the advise given by multiples. But i still dont understand why people are so superficial. Just because you want to make things look good on you and you wanna blame it on something else or you wanna gain all the credits and play tai ji on all the faults?

These made me look down on you people, seriously! I feel sick. Yucks!

I am still packed with assignments which some has yet been started and some just on the track. So many things to stressed about these day! After assignments, its exam and sem 2 is gonna end. After exam, everyone is stressed about the results. So by the end of the course, everyone's head will grow bigger and heart will be stronger!

A heart attack will be activated upon a release of a result. So we hav like so many heart attack more to go! Am awaiting for the overall result for management. God bless me! Omg, its like a blink of an eye & i have been studying for freaking near 5 months! Thats like super fast luh!

Cant wait for this year to end man! I hope everythings goes far better than this year because it suck but life still have to go on.. ..

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2011-10-30T12:32:00.000+08:00

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Never Enough!

2011-10-29T22:03:00.001+08:00

It has been a month ever since i last blogged. Busy as usual. Time is never enough for me now. Its either work, school or home working on assignments. Im so freaking packed everyday. Work is never ending. I need more time. Sleep deprived, so does time!

Sem 2's timetable is a killer! I hope the management will not set it this way again for the rest of the sem! Anyway, results are out for one of my module. Did quite badly! Need to pull up my socks luh!

I hope 2012 arrives soon. Because im plotting a big plan and will be executing them in 2012. I hope life would be better by then.

Alright, need to work on my assignment! Due date is the day after. 3 more assignment to go for this sem which will end in mid December!

Fighting with the stress monster.. ..

HURT ME, KILL ME!

2011-09-24T19:58:00.001+08:00

Group report cum presentation and individual assignment down! Im left with an exam to end this semester. In a blink of an eye, im working hard for 3 solid months already. So fast and furious!

2 individual assignment & 2 group project down, 8 more of each to go!!!

2nd presentation and im less nervous as of today. I hope we will all do well together. And next, mugging with my dear textbook. Hoping that i will love him with all my life so that he will love me more and i will pass my exam with flying colors!

Well, presentation is such an ass. I can say i hate presentation to the max because im not a crowd orientated person, i hate to be in the attention! Im so afraid of the times when i go tongue-tied and my brain will go haywire. Words are stuck and that moment is so awkward.

This week is a lousy week, seriously. Had a bad day on Thursday which left me totally dead. Because of your comment, my world turned upside down. I almost broke down but luckily, i was strong enough. Im proud of myself for not crying.

22/9/11 was the day that i wish to delete off my memory because of that comment you make. You pushed me to hell and hurt me inside out. What are my hard work for then? If it means nothing to you then i jolly well disappear and vanish from your sight.

I understand in life, there are ups and downs in whatever you do. I kept telling myself, these meant nothing at all, but still i wasn't able to convince myself with this sentence. That sentence still lives vividly inside me. What i can is not rack it up and slowly forget about it.

Motivation dropped tremendously!

I shall treat it as a training ground and live and act like a robot. Do away with my feelings and emotions. I wanna be bullet proof so that nothing can hurt me!

However im not letting my mood for school. I wanna do well in studies and excel in life. That class speech will be my motivation for the next 2 years because its all about money!

I WANNA GET TONS OF DOUBLE C, LV, PRADAS & ALL THE LUXURY!!

And im working to that direction.. .. ..gambateh!

ELECTRONICE MAKEUP DEVICE

2011-09-19T19:42:00.002+08:00

A week since i have last blogged, was mugging with my 2 assignments and 1 presentation. Case closed for assignment & i will be busy leeching on to my textbook. I hope when in the process of loving him, he will love me too!

Have been into this Iphone craze lately. I love the fact that my Iphone turn even pinker after i jailbreak it! Was so desperate to look for packages that enables the whole phone to turn pink! It makes me so happy when i look at my Iphone.

YES, IM A PINK FREAKO!!

My friend commented, "It looks so you, so pink!"

And im glad i changed to an Iphone cause it does wonder, however, i still miss the keypad of a Blackberry when i can just blindly punch on the pad when im walking and it still comes out with a correct word. Iphone always change a word automatically and a spelling mistake will sure be spotted even when you typing it infront of your eyes.

Why i say Iphone does wonders lei?

Apart from the jailbreak features, there are abundance of apps which are damn addictive and useful in life. Im recently addicted a photography app!

Silkycamera enables brighten up the entire photo instantly with a click! Easy, fast and the change is quite significantly seen.

Before After

And Fotolr PS is a must have almighty app which enables you to look superb in your nude face! Does a perfect make over instantly with choices to choose from!

OH MINE! LOOK AT MY TOTALLY NUDE FACE, LOOKS SO FUGLY & PALE RIGHT? CAN SCARE ALL MAN OFF AND EVEN ACT AS TALISMAN!

Enhance your photo with ample of great tools to choose from! The robust electronic makeup device! It changes colour of your hair, lips, eyes, liners and even cheeks accompanied by photo effects!

AND TADAH, SEE THE BIG BIG DIFFERENCE?

This is why i love it so much! Snap any picture anywhere and you will still look pretty because makeup does wonders to a girl! Now even make up is available in a phone!

PREGNANT.

2011-09-11T22:55:00.005+08:00

Good news or bad news? Well, im pregnant for 4 months now & if nothing was done i will look like a full termed preggy soon! And i will get to seat on the priority seats everyday in the train or bus & stand no more! Wahahaha.

Nice right? Making full use of the price you pay for the mrt & bus fares!!! Dont need to offer seats to anyone anymore because some people are just not appreciative even when you offer seats to them. Not even thankful at all, tsk.

Dont be surprise, given my size i can gobble like a king. I guess i eat more then some guys luh! Great or wad? In the chinese context, there is a saying - its a blessing to be able to eat (Nen chi shi fu)!

So being fat is a bliss anot?

Due to my monstrous eating habits, im putting on weight everyday! Sooner or later, i will look like a one ball rolling on the floor. Although i have been whining about my weight & fats, but im not really enforcing myself on strict diets.

Its all a paradox.. ..

Reinforcing myself to control my diet & not over eat & also cultivating my momentum on toilet bowls to clear my bowels at least twice a day. Started my tummy trimming plan 3 days back. I gotta be discipline & work hard on that to gain back my flat tummy.

Got myself a slim belt to aid in the process of my tummy trimming plan & to tone & shape my muscles. Im a plain lazy girl, & there is no way im gonna go for runs or gym. So the only thing i can do is to rely on tummy slimming gadgets.

I hope it helps because i dont even dare to put on my bikinis with my 4 months pregnant tummy of mine now. Hopefully it will show good results in 2 weeks & im gonna write & share a review with you guys on it if this belt works wonders!

GO AWAY PLS!!

2011-09-10T13:00:00.000+08:00

Today was the 7th day after my ENT visit to the doc. I returned back to the clinic for a review. Did another ear, nose & throat scope. All thanks to the local anesthetic nasal spray that gives no discomfort or pain during the scope.

But the spray taste really bitter & my whole nasal tract was numbed all the way down my throat giving me discomfort when swallowing. Anyway, paid another bomb today. Lucky i was given a good bit of discount. Good thing for health-care professionals.

Anyway the following pictures might cause discomfort, continue at your own risk!!

I was given a one week course of antibiotics & anti-reflux drug on my first visit which gives me hell. It cause gastric discomfort, nausea & vomitting & even diahorrea. Luckily, it's only a week & not a long term drug or else, i guess i will suffer.

Doctor did a scope & luckily the growth did became smaller but its still there, i hope it will go off by itself.

This is my adenoids - back of the nose. The growth shouldnt be there! But somehow or rather, i was the lucky one to have it! Damn!

Before - A week ago.

After - 9/9/11

Well, afterall operation could be done but it could be left there. However, its not affecting my health or well-being in any way. Sucks, my health is going haywire every now & then. Problems hit one after another.

Im getting like fatter & i look like preggy now, with my tummy protruding. Always having good food in the clinic & its making me fatter & fatter. Oh my god! Stress is inducing me to eat more too.

Im working out of my tummy flattening plan. Way to go!

UBIN EXPERIENCE

2011-09-09T21:29:00.000+08:00

I was suppose to blog on the 4th of Sep about my Ubin trip, but well i was too busy & lazy to do so. My apologies. That was my very first visit to the rural areas of Singapore - Pulau Ubin. It was very much like my granny's place. My granny lives in a kampong in Malaysia.

By saying kampong, i mean the real kampong which doesnt even exist in Singapore. Yes, its very much like what you imagined. The house was surrounded by forest with dogs, cats, chicken, pig & ducks running around. The nearest shop was like an hour drive away. The house doesnt have a proper floor - its cemented instead of tiles.

Mosquito flying about with lots of lizards, centipede, frogs & insects everywhere. It irks most of us the city kids the moment when you even think about it. If given a choice, i rather not go there because i cannt tahan staying in such dirty & rundown place! I rather be killed.

So mummy always say "You are lucky enough to be born in Singapore where everything is so modern here!"

The moment i step onto the land of Ubin, i think of granny's place. Its exactly how rundown it is. With forest everywhere and in order to get to granny place, you need to go thru hills & valley. It was a 2D1N trip for my friends but a day trip for me.

I didnt stay overnight due to work commitment. Well, first of all, we ranted bicycle for easy transportation. I didnt ride for donkey years, therefore i ended up having couple bikes with one of my new friend - Ah lam (Alarm).

A nice chap and lucky with him around, everything was made easier. We cycled to the resort & then checked in & explore around. They went for fish spa but i didnt dare to try because im scare of those fishes. It sends chill down my spine.

Had lunch then stayed in the chalet because it started raining heavily. What a day but luckily the rain cleared within half an hour. I had a good amount of exercise that day. Donkey years since i did a decent sports. Cycled for hours with lotsa downhill & up slope. Totally exhausted!

The "best" thing was how muddy the road was after the rain. Totally yucky but who cares, since im out for this trip, i just let it be. And for the first i time in my life, i saw mummy wild bore & baby wild bore! The babies are quite cute.

In total we cycled a few kilometers & my leg aches quite abit after that. Its nice to sweat after sports but well, i guess i cant be bothered to do any exercise on a normal day. Classes & work are good enough to kill me, let it be sports.

We took alot of pics on that day but i didnt have everything yet & all of the pic turns out to be damn fugly & i look totally shagged. Overall, i did enjoy myself for the day but given a choice i might not want to be back again. Im not a sporty girl afterall!

LOVER THEN STRANGER

2011-09-07T20:10:00.002+08:00

I always got a tinkle when old couples walk on the street holding each other's hand. How can they actually be in a relationship for a few decades. Of cos i was green with envy whenever i came across old loving couple.

Questions always strike me.
What about me?
Will i be able to be like them when i turn old?

Many a times, things always get sweet in the beginning, but this honeymoon period dont last long. Take my previous relationship as an example. Im not sure if these applies to all relationship but this is how i feel. We used to be so close in the beginning, hanging out almost everyday, chatting & textinging on the phone for hours at night everyday without fail.

We are always stick together just like being super-glued. And as times went by, the time of being together got lesser and lesser and lastly, it will be resort to a "cant-be-bothered" attitude towards each other & will end up having frequent quarrels over small little thing.

Maybe we just got sick of each other over a period of time & we take everything for granted thinking that no matter what happens, he/she will still be there in our lives. And very soon, you will feel contingent rather than love.

When asked, do you still love me?
Replies will be "of cos i love you/of cos i treasure you/of cos you are deem important to me.

What do you mean by you treasure someone?
Is it just by some words you say, things you have done or the attitude you are showing?

Many people just like to write a blank cheque. So what if you say a script full of romantic lines but had nothing to begin with? Everything is just rubbish.

Friend showed me a video yesterday & i find it so meaningful and real.

Love can be a bless yet a disaster.

To me, the answer to successful relationship is to have trust, honest, initiative & be responsible towards it. Give & take anything that happens and address to any obstacle you came across.

But oh well, where is Mr Right?

CANCEROUS OR NOT?

2011-09-02T16:33:00.001+08:00

Do you believe in "Feng Shui" of certain places?

I didnt much believe in these but things happened this year makes me ponder whether that is the cause of it. Almost everyone in the clinic is having some health problem this year! And its like an almost everyday thing that someone will need to consult a doctor regarding health issue.

For me, i spent like a freaking SGD2k+ on health problems this year. Thats like freaking lots of money and this is the first time almost everything hit me. I never used to fall sick in the past but this year, I was like sick a couple of times after i worked in this clinic.

This year, i went to see numerous specialist - a general surgeon, a cardiologist, a gynecologist, a TCM physician, a dentist & now an ENT specialist. Recently, i just finish my root canal treatment. And moreover, i develop a flu a month back & ended up with a blocked nose.

That blocked nose hit me for a month therefore, it left me with no choice so i dragged myself to consult an ENT doctor. The doctor did a nose scope and a ear scope for me & to my surprised, a relatively big & fierce-looking growth was found at adenoid (back of the nose). Nobody know what causes it, it may be there for quite some time, or it is because of the latest flu i got.

Doctor suggested to treat it with a course of anti-biotics & observed for a while & hopefully it will go away after i finish that course of anti-biotic. i hope its not cancerous. And touchwood, if its not better i might need to go through a surgery. I was so freaked out after i saw the growth. Now im full of worries & concerns!

A few colleagues of mine is also seeking specialized doctor on some other health issues and problems often come one after another. Im scared of going to the doctor. Firstly it cost a bomb and secondly, its scary to have abnormal findings and treatments often cost a bomb too. Now only god can help me i guess! Aww~!

And just ystd night...

MY MOUTH & ASS GOT HIJACKED!!

Had a session of body detox too - puke once and had a few episode of diarrhea accompanied by headache & body ache. A full colon flash out cum a gastric washout for my body! However, i still dragged myself to work & i regretted going.

Luckily i skipped my lesson last night or i might need to be the janitor for the night! Am on medical sick leave today but will be heading for class later on. Still having that nausea feeling & diahhorea hit me once but i hope it dont hijack me during class! .

Pray for me that i will be fine!! :(

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2 MORE!

2011-08-29T20:47:00.002+08:00

11:59 - The due date for my first individual assignment! Although i already handed up yesterday night, im still being paranoid. I dont know if im doing the correct thing or is my work relevant. Oh dear, but what is done is done, therefore i can just look forward. I hope it issnt too bad!

2nd one down but im still left with 2 more! Its like a never ending repetition thingy! Well, i was the one we decide to pay to suffer. But i just need to persevere for this 2 years and everything will be over! I can do it!

Was really busy with school and assignment that i dont even bother to put makeup cause im too lazy and tired to. Well, maybe that the reason why im still single. LOL~

How i wish today was part of the public holiday too cause i yearn for a long long weekend. And with regards to the president election, why didnt Mr New President change the calendar - 4 weekdays and 3 weekends? 5 weekdays and 2 weekends are so tiring!

I guess stress had hit me. Pimple outbreak! Pimples farming all over my face. Goodness gracious me! Alrighty, i need to kick start my engine for the next assignment! Cheers!

Top 5 - I hate you

2011-08-22T22:50:00.001+08:00

I dont know where im standing right now? It feels like im in the middle of deserted island. That empty &amp; depressed feeling haunted me again. I seriously hate it to the core! Speaking of which, this is something i wanna say!

Top 5 things that i hate!

1) Character
Everyone is bound to have a character of their own. I know everyone has of cos a unique character of their own &amp; thats what makes everyone unique. People can change, but character will still stay, be it how hard they try to change, its will always be there.

"A leopard never changes its spots"

A leopard without spots is not a leopard anymore. Therefore, we need to make a decision - to accepte it or ignore it. I know i could not get the best of both world, but at least a compromise?

2) Empty words
To some people, words are just words. But to me words can meant alot. I hate it when people dont mark their words. I hate the fact that they take words so lightly.

Word comes &amp; goes, just like the rain &amp; shine.

Its like once the pee is out of the body, they flush them away. If you dont mean what you say, then jolly well not talk about it. Its as good as lying your way through.

3) Unresponsive
Waiting is a long process. I used to be very patient, but as times pass, the patience level in me kept dropping every minute. You can see 2 different person when im in my uniform &amp; when im out of it. Maybe its the job that keeps me waiting thats why im sick of waiting therefore i hate waiting when im out of my uniform. Waiting for SMS or anything urgent kills me.

Thats the typical behavior of a Singaporean - not able to wait.

I dont like people to wait for me however, it cant be help at times but i still take every effort to peep at my phone every now and then to response to people who are looking for me no matter how busy i am. Why cant other people do that as well?

4) Initiative

I hate people who are without initiative. People without initiative are just pure lazy. They are too lazy to even take note of things happening around them cos.. ..

They carry this "cant be bothered" attitude in them.

Being initiative gives people the impression that you care, but i admit that i dont even have that little bit of initiative in some aspect. However, sad to say, not everyone care! Haha.

5) Irresponsible

Being acting as accordance to the four points above, you are so irresponsible!

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2011-08-21T22:18:00.003+08:00

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One Down!

2011-08-21T15:21:00.002+08:00

Today marks the near end of my first module - Financial & Management account. One more individual assignment to go before it marks the ending of this particular module. And the date line is this coming Sun but i have yet to start the proj!

Time deprived, sleep deprived!
Can i not go to work instead and focus on my project only?

I have got not much time left anymore but lucky i had someone to helped me along! But well, its my project so i guess i would need to help myself instead. James, my lecturer did said a few words today & it was like so touching. A good lecturer indeed & never fails to encourage us & guild us along the way! Thank you very much for everything!

Today i did my first presentation for this course. Rather tensed up & also, faced alot of problems. Did some uber last minute edit & also rehearsal for the presentation. Most of the group did quite well! And im glad that most of my classmate was really supportive. I had good classmates luh!

Half a Sunday gone! Aww, time fly! Can we slow down the time when im out of work so that i have more time on studies. Im really having lack of time! Damn! Alrighty, time to chiong my project & throw everything aside in my brain.

Sometime i just got so affected..but i will try to put everything behind & get things done!

AS BUSY AS A BEE!

2011-08-14T19:44:00.003+08:00

Awww! Im finally blogging after so long. Im just not free to do so. Was sick & was mugging for exams recently & finally, exams are over! No more accounting exams but am left with 4 assignments & 1 exam for this module! Stress level issnt decreasing but shooting up day by day.

Was sick for nearly a week. Flu, cough, fever, bodyaches, headache. Was so tired recently too because of exams. Mugging nearly everyday after work. A sigh of relief that everything was so far so good. Thanks to my lecturer, i love you luh!

I hereby certified that accounting is not my forte. I hate accounting luh but luckily the module which im taking - financial & management accounting didnt comprise of just maths alone. Phew! Im suck to the core in maths! Thank god, its over & i didnt flunk both my exam. I guess i scored pretty well, at least a pass!

Assignments are an ass too for accounting. It seems like im stuck in a small little hole, unable to get out of it. I have not even an idea how to start on my individual assignment! Fml.

God bless me that i will do well for my assignment too! :x

HAPPY NURSE'S DAY!

2011-07-30T22:05:00.003+08:00

Its my 7th year (including student days) celebrating Nurse's day. This year's celebration was done in Spring Court Restaurant located in Chinatown. My first visit there & the food was superb, everyone was satisfied after the meal!

Nurses' Day is celebrated in Singapore on 1 August annually. It is an opportunity for us to honor the contributions of our dedicated nurses who devote their lives to taking care of the sick.

Originally celebrated as Nurses Week from 1965 and changed to Nurses Day in the 1980s, Nurses Day is a day set aside to honour and recognise the contribution of nurses to Singapore. It is usually marked with celebrations for nurses, including graduation ceremonies, blood donation drives, concerts, exhibitions, funfairs and charity events. Since 1990, the President has opened the Istana to nurses on this day, to thank them for the contribution to the health and well-being of the nation.

Unlike other countries, which celebrate Nurses Day on 12 May, the birthday of Florence Nightingale, Singapore celebrates Nurses Day on 1 August. This dates marks the beginning of the development of nursing in Singapore.

Up till 1885, healthcare in Singapore was poor. While there were several hospitals (in the Pearl's Hill, Sepoy Lines and Kandang Kerbau areas), there was a lack of nurses to support the work of the doctors. The call went out for nurses, and was answered by nuns from the local French Convent, who started nursing at the General Hospital at the Sepoy Lines on 1 August 1885.

We did an early celebration on the 18th July because of one of our muslim friend.Well, it may not be a special day or rather, not everyone knows of this day, but well, its the day where we switched roles with the doctor. Instead of pleasing the doctors, the doctor will please us as a token of appreciation.

Booked a suit & we went through a 7 course dinner on that night.

Braised Shark's Fin Soup with Crab Meat

Spring Court Popiah *Highly Recommended!

The popiah was the best that i came across! Woohoo!

Charcoal-Roasted Suckling Pig *Highly Recommended!

This is my first attempt to try eating suckling pig after refusing to try for so many years. This tastes fantastic! Unlike those oily & scary ones which turns me off when i saw them. This looks especially appealing with not even a trace of oil! On word - Superb!

Deep-fried Soon Hock Fish
Im not a fan of fish & is always refusing them when served. Unlike this, crunchy on the outside, fresh & soft inside. Both thumbs up!

Steamed Kampong Chicken with Chinese Ham

Pan-fried Tiger Prawns

Braised Vegetables

Lotus Leaf Fried Rice

Fresh Almond Paste with Lotus Seeds

Had the second nurses day buffet lunch last Tuesday. Received a few boxes of cakes from the sales rep. I guess nurses day was mend for putting on weight for the nurses. I felt so depress when standing on the weighing scale now.

My weight is shooting sky high, time to go on diet & i must! No junk food after meals from now on. Gonna discipline myself to introduce fruits first then the main course so that i will not eat so much of junk after meal. No time for exercise so the only thing i can do is just working hard on my diet! Boohoo!

This week was a tiring week for me. Thank god, it ended, but next week issnt better thou. Had lesson for 4 consecutively day. My very first exam - Financial Accounting on Wednesday. Not a good day too! Went for my dental treatment on Tuesday & my tooth flare up on Wednesday morning.

It was so painful that i couldnt chew & i literally swallowed all the 85% un-chewed food down. It got worst therefore i headed down to have a check again. Was given anti-biotics to reduce the inflammation & im much better now.

And whats worst? My phone died on me! Something went wrong with the charger & the phone. It jus refuses to charge. So headed down to Singtel to service my phone. Not a good day & it takes up most of my time for study. I hope i can do well in that test. God bless me!

Assignments is a bitch now. The submission date is getting closer & the lecturer has yet discussed about them. Everything just went hay-wire last night, causing mood swings. I hope everything will go smoothly from now on. Im having a bad year!

Nonetheless, its a bless, i still have you. ♥

ILY!

2011-07-24T21:57:00.003+08:00

Exams are getting nearer, & im kinda stress about it. Well, everyone hope that time gets on faster but for me, i hope time slows down abit when im studying. Its like zooming like no tomorrow when im dating with my book! Have been working hard these weekend for my first paper next Wed.

School started like 2 weeks back & im having exam next week. The pace is super fast. Well, i used to hate accounting but now, im slowly liking it when it make sense to me when i put effort into them.

Woke up especially early at 8:30AM to study before i can head for the outing with the peeps, JSCAQ! It has been long since we last met! It was so called a last minute meetup. Well, exams are around the corner, and yet im shopping out there! LOL.

Loving them max! Teehee!

Sakae Sushi for dinner.

And i love today! :)

Wish me luck for my upcoming exam. After exam, im gonna stress about assignments & exam again!

Tough Luck.

2011-07-17T21:29:00.000+08:00

Serious toothache hit me this week! It was so terrible that it radiates up my head causing migraine, to the left causing pain in the ear and down to my lower jaw. It was so terrible that Ponstan (mefenamic acid) doesnt help at all & thus result in me taking stronger painkiller, synflex.

The pain invaded me the entire 2 days (Wednesday & Thursday) & it will start invading me again every 6 hours after the medication effect wears off. My first ever toothache & i wouldnt want it to happen on me anymore!

Visited the dentist & fuck, i shared the same fate as a friend of mine, Christine!

Out of everyone, its me! Im so down to luck man! This year is the worst year ever! Every part of me gives me problem every now & then. I spent more than 1K on medical consultations & investigation this year already. Im really broke now, so please, could i be free of medical attention?

Made a trip down to another dentist for second opinion yesterday & yes, i hit the jackpot! I fucking need root canal treatment! This treatment is not very cheap, cost around 1K or more or even up to 2K. And it takes like a few session to complete treatment.

What is root canal treatment?
Root canal therapy refers to the process where a dentist treats the interior aspects of a tooth, specifically, that space occupied by its "pulp tissue."

Most people would probably refer to a tooth's pulp tissue as its "nerve," However, doing so is only partially accurate. While pulp tissue does contain nerve fibers, it is also composed of arteries, veins, lymph vessels, and connective tissue.

Where precisely in a tooth is its nerve?

Teeth are not solid objects. Inside every tooth there lies a hollow space that contains its nerve tissue. Dentists use the following terms to refer to various portions of this nerve space:

Serious toothache hit me this week! It was so terrible that it radiates up my head causing migraine, to the left causing pain in the ear and down to my lower jaw. It was so terrible that Ponstan (mefenamic acid) doesnt help at all & thus result in me taking stronger painkiller, synflex.

The pain invaded me the entire 2 days (Wednesday & Thursday) & it will start invading me again every 6 hours after the medication effect wears off. My first ever toothache & i wouldnt want it to happen on me anymore!

Visited the dentist & fuck, i shared the same fate as a friend of mine, Christine!

Out of everyone, its me! Im so down to luck man! This year is the worst year ever! Every part of me gives me problem every now & then. I spent more than 1K on medical consultations & investigation this year already. Im really broke now, so please, could i be free of medical attention?

Made a trip down to another dentist for second opinion yesterday & yes, i hit the jackpot! I fucking need root canal treatment! This treatment is not very cheap, cost around 1K or more or even up to 2K. And it takes like a few session to complete treatment.
What is root canal treatment?
Root canal therapy refers to the process where a dentist treats the interior aspects of a tooth, specifically, that space occupied by its "pulp tissue."

Most people would probably refer to a tooth's pulp tissue as its "nerve," However, doing so is only partially accurate. While pulp tissue does contain nerve fibers, it is also composed of arteries, veins, lymph vessels, and connective tissue.

Where precisely in a tooth is its nerve?

Teeth are not solid objects. Inside every tooth there lies a hollow space that contains its nerve tissue. Dentists use the following terms to refer to various portions of this nerve space:

A) The pulp chamber.This is the hollow area that lies, more or less, in the center of the tooth's crown (that part of the tooth positioned above its gum line).

B) The root canals.
A tooth's root canals run from the apex (tip) of its root up to its pulp chamber. The layout of the nerve space inside different types of teeth is quite different.

Teeth always have just one pulp chamber but the number of individual root canals that they have can vary widely. As a norm, teeth usually have either 1, 2, or 3 roots (but they can have more). And any one root is usually expected.

What is the purpose / function of a tooth's nerve?

A tooth with completed root canal treatment. You don't really get as much "feeling" from the nerve as you might expect. A tooth's nerve tissue does have a sensory function. But this role is probably different from what you expect. Under normal circumstances the nerve tissue inside our teeth provides us with very little information.

Yes, when subjected to pressure or temperature extremes, or exposed to severe insult (like advancing tooth decay or the formation of a crack), teeth do respond with a painful sensation. But under normal circumstances, the nerves inside our teeth remain relatively "quiet."

You might think that if you push on your teeth with your finger, or else close them together, you feel a pressure sensation because of their nerve. Actually, this sensation comes from the nerve fibers found in the ligament that surrounds the root, not from inside the tooth itself.

This implies then, from a standpoint of the normal functions we perform with our teeth, that the presence of live nerve tissue inside them is pretty much optional. If its present and healthy, then wonderful. But if a tooth has had its nerve removed as a part of root canal treatment, then that's fine too. You will never miss it.

Early on, a tooth's nerve tissue plays an important role in the formation and development of the tooth. Then, once it has formed, the function of this tissue becomes one of helping to preserve the tooth's health and vitality.

The nerve tissue helps to keep the organic components of the tooth's mineralized tissues (dentin and enamel) supplied with nutrients and moisture. It also produces new tooth structure (reparative dentin) as is needed to help to wall off and protect the nerve from insult or injury (such as advancing tooth decay).

The root canal treatment.

A) Placing the rubber dam.

After numbing you up, but before beginning the actual process of performing your treatment, your dentist will need to "isolate" your tooth. To do this, they will first punch a small hole in a sheet of rubber. They will then slip this sheet over your tooth and position a small tooth clamp to hold it there.

The purpose of a rubber dam is as follows. One of the fundamental goals of root canal therapy is removing bacteria and contaminates from within a tooth. Since saliva contains contaminates, placement of a rubber dam allows the dentist to keep the tooth saliva-free, so they can be effective in their efforts.

B) Creating the access cavity.

As a starting point for performing your treatment, your dentist must first gain access to the nerve space within your tooth. They do this by using their dental drill to create an access cavity. This hole will extend into the interior of the tooth to its pulp chamber. It's the hole through which your dentist will perform their work.

On posterior teeth, the access cavity is made on the chewing surface of the tooth. On front teeth, the access hole is made on the tooth's backside.

C) Cleaning and shaping the tooth's root canals.

The next step of the root canal process involves "cleaning and shaping" the interior of your tooth (the pulp chamber and all root canals). In regard to the cleaning process, its purpose is to remove bacteria, toxins, nerve tissue, and related debris that are harbored inside the tooth.

The shaping process refers to how the tooth's canals are enlarged and flared, so the have a shape that facilitates the filling and sealing process.

D) Sealing the tooth - Placing the filling material.

Once the interior of the tooth has been thoroughly cleansed and properly shaped, it is ready to be sealed (have its hollow interior filled in). In some cases, the dentist will want to place the filling material immediately after they have finished cleaning the tooth. With other cases, they may feel that it is best to wait about a week before performing this procedure.

In the latter case, your dentist will need to place a temporary filling in your tooth, so to keep contaminates out during the time period between your appointments.

What type of root canal filling material is used?

Filling and sealing a tooth's root canals. The most frequently used root canal filling material is a rubber compound called gutta percha. It comes in preformed cones whose dimensions match the size (diameter, taper) of the files that have been used to shape the tooth's canals.

A root canal sealer (a paste) is usually used with the gutta percha. It is either applied to a cone's surface before it is placed into a canal, or else applied inside the root canal itself before the cone is inserted. Several individual cones of gutta percha may be needed to fully fill the interior of the tooth.

A dentist may warm the gutta percha (either before or after it has been placed into the tooth) to soften it. This way it can be molded to closely adapt to the shape of the tooth's interior.

As an alternative, a dentist may place the gutta percha via the use of a "gun." This apparatus is somewhat similar to a hot-glue gun. It warms a tube of gutta percha. The softened material can then be squeezed out into the tooth.

Once your dentist has finished sealing your tooth, they will place a temporary filling, so to seal off the access cavity created at the beginning of your treatment.

E) The root canal process is now complete but your tooth still requires additional work.

At this point, while the individual steps of performing the root canal process have been finished, your tooth's treatment is not yet complete. A permanent restoration must still be placed. Choosing the right type of dental restoration, and having it placed promptly, will help to insure the long-term success of your tooth's endodontic therapy.

Frankly speaking, im really so scared. Will be starting my first treatment this coming Tue with a special rate from my dentist! Im lucky i know someone whom is into this root canal treatment! I hope everything is gonna be alright. I hope i chose the correct dental surgeon! God bless!

ERS Chalet '11

2011-07-10T19:54:00.001+08:00

Im having this terrible splitting headache induced by lack of sleep & the financial concepts from school just now. This weekend was fast yet tiring! Headed out early to meet Jas to get "some" grocery in Pasir Ris's Giant on Saturday.

It seems like we, two little girls hijacked the whole supermart! Brought freaking lotsa grocery worth SGD250 & the whole trolley nearly broke down! We started with a trolley & ended up with two! It seems like we didnt eat for days! Alright, im lazy to upload those pics!

One aunty asked, "Why did you both buy so many stuff, how long do you both take to finish all these?!"
We replied, "We starved for a few days already, that why we are buying so much food!"

And so many aunties tried to stand beside us while we were paying, hoping that we will give them that stamp thingy that they wanted. But well, we gave the aunty that approached us first. She is lucky! Haha!

Well well, all these are for our annual chalet! And two petite little girls ended up manipulating the trolley like pushing a big rock that is so freaking heavy. Drove down to the chalet, prepared those products we got & got the fire started. This is the best chalet i went, so nice & cozy! Its like those semi-detached houses with modern interior design.

The food nearly killed us all. We overestimate the food & ended up with so much leftovers & we were all so full by then. I guess im gonna increase a kilo or two for the weekend. Holy shit!

Mahjong with alcohol till late night. Girls talk till 3am with Jas & Aiping & tadah, i ended up with this headache. Serve me right uh! And the best thing is, i woke up at 8am to prepare for school today. So drained now & i feel like dying!

The concepts taught today is making me go mad, but school was fun afterall! I need alot of catch-ups & revisions. Awww, this week is gonna be another work > home > study > sleep week! Exams next week!

I need more Gingko Biloba to boost my memory!

New Mission!

2011-07-03T18:54:00.005+08:00

IM FINALLY BACK TO SCHOOL!

"Before you get the best, you have to have the worst"

Im rather excited about school right now! Classes are starting this coming Wednesday & im looking forward to it! Im taking a big step forward in my life & this step will be a really new thing for me as im taking up Bachelor in Arts(Honors) in Business Management from Kaplan.

I need/want a career change! I dont want to be a nurse anymore although im passionate about being one. Im tired of all the nonsense, im not your maid! Sad to say, nurses are like high class maid to some people out there. We need the respect, earthlings!

Its like a donkey years since i last touched a book - probably like a year or two! Went for the whole afternoon of induction yesterday. Well, im feeling the stress right now even though classes has yet to start. I can foresee that im going through hell in the next 20 months.

Studying is - pay to suffer! Well, even though im stepping into hell, i want to make the best out of it. I need to be really discipline to actually study everyday & I need to not feel sleepy when i open a book. I hope i can do it & i know i can!

Graduating will be a commitment & it will be my new goal in life too.

I love my new portfolio layout to bits!

Today dont seems like a Sunday to me! Maybe because induction was till 6pm yesterday so its as good as my normal weekday. Monday is approaching, the war is starting again! Sigh!

E.P.L

2011-07-01T21:17:00.001+08:00

My all-time webcam buddy ♥, whom is 6000KM away! 01.07.11
PS: Ignore my fugly face!

Love me without restriction.
Trust me without wondering.
Want me without demand.
Accept me how I am.

Im finally enrolled for school, done with the first payment & went for orientation yesterday. Induction tml & its gonna be a long long day for me. Im definitely sleep deprived right now. However, im so looking forward to the start of the class next wednesday.

I can foresee a road full of bumps and slope in the near future. Im gonna walk a 20 months of bumpy road. Well, i can do it, i sure can!

Work is a nuisance everyday, my morale is decreasing day by day but well, i can just live with it!
Eat . pray . love :)

Party With A Leopard!

2011-06-26T15:24:00.002+08:00

One & a half day down from the weekend. I wish time will go two to three times slower during the weekend, two to three times faster during weekday! Im kinda sick of work! Slept throughout the day, woke up at around 5:45PM, shower, got myself dinner (my first meal of the day), prepared & headed out to meet Chris the leopard (she was wearing a dress with leopard prints) at Vivo.

I used to not make-up, but now i guess i will not dare to step out of the house without any makeup, well at least a under-eye concealer with cosmetic lens or eyeliner to cover my dark circles & enlarge my small eyes.

Nude face with cosmetic lens Refurnished.

I ♥ my dreamy eyes

Yesterday was so jam packed that we que outside for nearly an hour. By the time we are standing infront of the bouncer, the sign "FULL HOUSE" display was flashed out on the door. Luckily we managed to get in & it was 12mn by then.

It was so packed that we didnt have a place to stand & everyone kept pushing us around like a ball rolling on the floor. And i didnt snap much pic cause whenever i try to, people kept pushing & the image turned out to be blurry. Damn!

Therefore, we decided to go off at 1am. Kinda waste of time, but at least we did get ourself inside for an hour. Cab home afterwhich. Halfway through the journey...

I ACTUALLY HAD A BLACKOUT FOR A FEW SECONDS IN THE CAB!!!

This is not the first time i experience this, but i realized that most of the time i drink, i will experience blackout. There will be this weird feeling which acts like a warning to me, and my sight slowly turns darker & darker & suddenly blindness sets in! All i need to do is to squat down for awhile & my vision will slowly come back!

My first blackout was like 2yrs back, after a few drinks, i headed out to the cab stand & halfway while crossing the road, the blackout came! I was like panicking in the middle of the road & luckily my friend was there to hold me just in time. And i was so afraid that this will give me permanent blindness.

Googled & did some research...

What is an alcohol blackout?
This is not the same thing as passing out when you have had too much to drink. Passing out very much resembles sleeping. No, an alcoholic blackout is when a person has had a lot to drink and they go into this state of mind where they can no longer remember anything that they are doing, but they are still moving around, conversing with people, and possibly causing all sorts of problems.

Blackout drinking does not necessarily cause people to lose consciousness or “pass out.” Instead, high alcohol consumption temporarily interferes with the function of the brain, causing the brain to be unable to retain information in short term memory. Many people do lose consciousness at the tail end of a period of blackout drinking. Upon regaining consciousness, the drinker may not know where he or she is or what is going on.

There are two main ways in which blackout drinking can impact the memory. In some cases, blackout drinking results in a large chunk of “lost time,” and the drinker will be able to remember events before and after the missing block of memory. The skipped events in the middle are a clue that a blackout was experienced. It is also possible to lose only fragments of memory.

But the thing is, i still remember everything after the blackout & im still awake while the blackout strikes & i know what im doing at that point of time. Whenever i squat down, my vision will slowly come back but when i started walking, the blackout sets in again. Why my body so weird one?! Well, maybe drinking is not running in my genes therefore, im a poor drinker!

FML.

2011-06-24T21:07:00.001+08:00

You are the reason at the saddest part of my life, i smile.

At confusion, i understand.

In betrayal, i trust.

In fear of pain, i love.

This week was horrendous! Everywhere is filled with obnoxious being whom never fails to pull the trigger in me everyday. Sick & tired of these, where are all the good & nice people? I guess they are all dead. It was a catastrophe for the entire clinic. Fml.

Thank god, its weekend! I need a break from these nonsense! We have to deal with all these shit everyday & accept it cos its part & parcel of nursing. Most people dont respect us or appreciate what we are doing. Whats the whole point then?

Nursing was a calling, passion was why we became a nurse. But without respect, these are nothing.

Webcam ♥

2011-06-16T20:40:00.001+08:00

Has not been blogging lately cos im almost occupied by the webcam session every night. Im always looking forward to the night now. I hate the day lately cause im always so tired! Very much sleep deprived. But no matter how much i sleep, its still not enough for my small petite body.

Was suppose to attend a wake today but the place was so out of the way therefore i give it a miss. My deepest condolences to Dr Ong & family! Well, i seriously think i need a raincheck! A small short holiday would be great, but its almost impossible!

NOW, SAY CHEESE!

Deep Down..

2011-06-12T14:10:00.001+08:00

Since the day that we met
I aint never had anyone make me feel this way
And my heart is sure it wants to be with you
Wanna give you the whole world

If you make the promise to me, You're gonna stay
Without you guiding me, I'm lost and so confused

What will it take to show you I'll be by your side

I got you and I want to give you what you never had
everyday I hope to make you part of my life
Cause you know me and I know you
Your love is where it's at

I'm gonna be the love that's gonna last
And be the one that got your back
Ain't nothing ever that bad that we won't be together
And though we both made our mistakes
And some we never wish we made
But we'll be okay if we just stay together

And you paid the price when you messed up your life
I know you're so afraid
But for you I given up that life

Baby you're the one I've waited for
Because you gave me what I need and more
its clear that we are meant to be
Together,
We should be together ....
Eternally!

I can only wait for so long, forever is too long for anything.. ..

Stirke, GOAL!

2011-06-09T21:13:00.001+08:00

Little did i know, i was struck again, now on my left eye! It was the mild yet deadly virus - conjunctivitis. Woke up with red, teary & painful eye. So these specs come in handy to cover my nude eye. The sandy-like feeling was just sucky! So afraid that i might infect my patients that i wash my hands like crazy.

I was so damn unlucky this year. Everything just came knocking on my door. Is it unlucky or wad? I used to be free of everything, until you left, i got depressed & everything went wrong. Totally wrong that nothing was right.

Work is a disaster this week. Overtime & its never ending. Suck but im trying to divert all the stress away & is looking forward to the weekend. I need rest, most importantly, i need the (invisible) you.

There It Goes Again!

2011-06-05T22:24:00.003+08:00

Great Singapore Sales is here! But its a misery that i cant shop like what others is doing. Responsibility held me up from shopping. I hate it but thats the choice i made, so i got to stick to my decision, no matter what. Anyway, im still waiting impatiently for my application to get through before i sign the appointment letter for school.

Nonetheless, i did some last minute shopping cum the last shopping before the struggle comes into my life. Shopping with Cara on Saturday after work. So packed partly because of the GSS. Orchard then Bugis. Went to pray too, & I pray that i will sail smoothly thoughout the year especially in my studies & career & YOU will come along.

Came across this super nice heels which comes in hotpink ♥, light gray & black in the departmental stores. Chio-ness max & really comfortable when i tried them on. It was sold at a stunning price of SGD169 but its selling for SGD159 because of GSS. I was so tempted to get them but i know i need to consider seriously.

I believe comfort comes with quality. The heels that im preying on are make of adidas's sole. When i put them on, i dont feel any pressure cause the heels & sole are so perfect & i dont walk like a duck. I notice that some girls whom wore super high heels walks like a duck because the curvature of the heels are so flat that it makes them walk so unnaturally. One word - fugly.

I brought a pair of GUESS wedges last year for SGD120 & its quite comfortable but i hav problems when i wore for too long. My toes will ache instead of my sole. And i only wore them during function or when i go clubbing. I need a really good & comfortable pair for shopping!

At the end of the day, i finally came to a decision - to make them mine! I was so tempted to get the hotpink one, but in the end black would be more practical. As of now, they are the most expensive heels that i own. I hope it will satisfy my legs even if i go shopping for the entire day. I have faith in you, dont disappoint me, Rockport!

Singapore should have GSS like twice or thrice a year! Cotton On's sales are like crazy! Everything goes for like as cheap as SGD5! I got 2 dresses & its super worth it! And guess what? After spending SGD5000 on my lasik surgery, i still miss having glasses on me at times, therefore i got myself 2 pair of glasses.

Still in my sleeply mode & grotesque without makeup!

I notice that i have got a big fat nose when im on glasses! I need a nose job if permitted! That's the reason i dont wear glasses most of the time. Anyway, i must stop myself from shopping from now on. I need to save big time!

Slept for the whole of today! I made a record of sleeping from 11PM last night till nearly 6PM this evening. Thanks to my good friend, Lexotan! I thought i was refreshed, but the fact is im still so sleepy & sleep deprived. Guess im heading to bed soon.

Weekends are over. Hate Monday, annoying Tuesday, ignore Wednesday, Smile Thursday, love Friday, enjoy Saturday & damn Sunday!

But i have to say - i hate everyday!

New goal, new life!

2011-06-02T20:28:00.003+08:00

Strike by a chalazion in my right eye!

Chalazion
Also called: meibomian cyst a small cyst on the eyelid resulting from chronic inflammation of a meibomian gland

Its painful whenever i blink but i was started on antibiotic drops & ointment today. I hope it goes away by tomorrow or the day after or i will need to go under the knife!

I cant wait to start my university life! Enrolled myself yesterday & classes are starting in July but im currently awaiting for the appointment letter! This will be my new goal & my priority right now!

Yes, im going side track! I dont see any prospect in being a nurse anymore. I want a better life, so im doing something more general. Im heading into the business sector! Something rather new to me!

Life for the next 2 years will be a really tough, tiring & taxing, but i will endure no matter how hard its going to get! My main aim is to finish my degree course & head towards the business sector. I cant wait & is looking forward to July now!

IL&MY!

2011-05-29T19:58:00.000+08:00

" A lot of what passes for depression these days is nothing more than a body saying that it needs work. "

Been hibernating for the past 2 days cause i dont wanna you to come into my mind & weekends are over unknowingly. While i was bathing just now, i kept asking myself if today is a Sunday or a Saturday. I seriously hav no idea of what i did for the past two days especially on Saturday.

The only thing that i remembered was i went BBDC yesterday morning, came back home & showered, had lunch, pop-in some pills, switch on the aircon, headed to bed & i forgot what i did for the rest of the day. As for this morning, i woke up, drank a cup of milk, did some codings & headed off to bed for nap.

And i didnt have any meal today except for that pathetic 100mls of milk! My world is like a merry-go-round, spinning whenever i walk & i nearly pass out just now before i went for a shower. My world suddenly turned darker but i manage to get hold of some water before i really faint. I guess im hypoglycemic.

The weirdest thing is that i dont feel hungry at all throughout the day! All i want to do now is continue to sleep till tomorrow! Anyway, i just finished my br-unch-ner (breakfast cum lunch cum dinner) all in one shot! But it freaks me when i was about to finish my noodle soup, i saw a tiny worm floating about in the soup!

Goodness, all my appetite went downhill. But luckily, i didnt eat the worm down together with the noodle! What a sigh of relief! Quite reluctant to start work tomorrow, now my favorite hobby is sleeping! Although i slept a few days, im still lack of sleep! I guess sleeping is just a way to make myself break away from the problem for the time being.

Im so useless that i cant even handle my own mind!

Mentally ill-ed.

2011-05-28T14:43:00.005+08:00

Visited the doctor cause of my frequent chest pain after work yesterday. Waited for quite long, but i wasn't really comfortable with the doctor. This sexy old middle age doctor (my mum's age) is damn weird can! If i can, i would try not to go to her unless necessary!

After so many any-o-how guessing, i was diagnosed with ?depression, ?anxiety & ?stress. She said it was a muscle strained due to anxiety & stress & maybe depression which makes the pain strike. Oh, well, i dont feel stress, would feel depressed more.

And she told me, "Nobody will know they feel stress!"

But to me, i think most of the people will know & can feel that their stress level is rising. But i didnt felt any unless at work which was quite minimal.

Stress is defined as:

- Importance or significance attached to a thing; emphasis: to lay stress upon good manners.

- Mental, emotional, or physical strain or tension

To me, i will only feel stress when im overloaded with stuff which i cannt cope with. For example, so many things are passed on to me & patients are making a big hoo-ha saying that they waited for so long etc & i couldnt solve all of the problem given to me effectively & efficiently. And as far as a human can, they can only handle one thing at one time & you felt lost. Yes, this is when i feel stress!

Different people define stress differently, issnt it?

Anyway, had started my anti-depressant & anti-anxiety drug. Had 4 tablets & some syrup down into my esophagus & now resting to my gastric. Now i felt as if im floating in the air & i felt so light right now! I even cannot walk straight now, i need sleep!

Its like you felt tipsy after a drink! In order to just throw everything out of my mind for a short period of time, my solution is to induce drug to make myself sleep. I know what im doing is wrong but what else can i do?

Dress down on Saturday - Nude me!

Anyway, my face is nude today. Headed to BBDC for my advance theory. Was disappointing cause i failed by 1 mark in my both my attempt. Maybe i didnt concentrate on reading those question cause my phone kept vibrating throughout the entire test.

I felt so distraughted cause the guy sitting beside me kept looking at me with the expression "Can you please bloody turn off that vibrating phone?!". Wtf man! I guess im gonna stop for now, even for practical lessons & save real hard for my upcoming studies. Im desperate for cash!! I need cash!!!

You kept striking me, be it in reality or virtually. I had told myself i will be strong, i can do without anyone! No matter how the outcome is, i strongly believe that what is mine will be mine eventually. Im waiting right here although its getting impatience!

ILY, IMY, IHY, HOW?

A Punishment Or Prank?

2011-05-26T20:58:00.001+08:00

" Sometimes, when you are too attached to a person for too long, you tend to forgot your true self "

Photoshopped my eyes, they are so big & scary now!

Just when i was about to head back on track, he appeared again. Is this a punishment or a prank to me? Just when i convinced myself that everything is not like how it used to be, you came along. Im petrified, im disoriented mentally, for i dont want repetition again.

This time, you made me really confused that serious insomnia hit me last night. Memories flash back & i felt so miserable. I cannot perceive what is right & what is wrong. I hate to stand alone in this dark & colorless world, it makes my life meaningless!

Although i did tell myself, if one day i was given another chance, i would want to go back to the past because its the happiest period i had with you & never let you go again. But at the other end, i dont want to be martyred again, i seriously hate the feeling of being cut alive.

You show me what is love & how to hate. Somehow or rather, i feel that this is fate. And god wants to relay a message to me - treasure the present. Well, im not gonna hope for anything right now, i just want to know the true you.

The Talking Eye.

2011-05-21T20:00:00.007+08:00

My chest pain is getting more & more frequent for the past few days! And the pain is like worst too. The pain always appears on the left side of my chest & whenever i breathe, the sharp pain struck. I was bathing just now & suddenly i was greeted by the sharp pain. Luckily, i was almost done or else i wonder how long i will be stuck inside. I think my days are numbered!

Weekend is here again, this week is yet another long week! I was supposed to meet the chubs for breakfast this morning at Toa Payoh, but i was late as i took too long for my eye makeup. Yes, i guess the favorite feature on my face would be my eyes although its naturally small! What's yours?

Cosmetic lense makes wonder! ♥

Eyeliners with mascara makes a superb finish. ♥

See the big difference between the left & the right eye?

Cam-whoring time!

Met sis after work in town. Did alittle window shopping but end up spending like SGD20 over lunch & cosmetic again! Im in love with black & white eye shadows right now! They are the perfect combination man!

Swensens for late lunch. I didnt step into Swensens for so damn long! The fish & chip taste superb this time! Maybe i was famish when the food arrives infront of me. As usual, felt sleepy after meal. Headed home alone while sis went to meet her bf. Weekends are boring for singles!

I.CANT.BREATHE!

2011-05-18T21:40:00.003+08:00

Holy shit! *trying hard not to breathe*

I was hit with 5-6 long episode of chest pain today!

Whenever i breathe, this sharp pain will pierce through my chest & one episode can last up to half an hour. Working with this chest pain is a torture & the best thing is, today is a busy day!

Im quite out of breathe whenever the pain strikes. The only method i did was to have minimal breathing so that its not so painful. This is my first time experiencing 5-6 episodes of long attack! I wonder what's wrong with my heart.

I just went to Mount Elizabeth for a full body checkup at the cardiologist 2 weeks back & i dont want to spend any money on specialist anymore. I had enough of doctor's visit for the past 2 months! I can only say, im utterly broke!

Maybe, im going to heaven soon! :)

The Breakup Plan.

2011-05-16T21:20:00.000+08:00

Have been feeling super-morose lately! Maybe that's the contraindication of the pills that im taking, it will continue for another couple of months i guess! I just cant help it, no matter how hard i try, i just couldnt get happy! Find me happiness, will you?

And recently, im eating the way i used to eat like before. Thanks to a friend of mine whom verbalized to me "I think you lose some weight after you remove your wisdom tooth!" And i was kinda happy & got myself standing on the weighing machine & what the hell!

Measured myself like 2 weeks back & in freaking 2 weeks, i put on like nearly 2KG! Ohmygoodness, where did all the adipose tissue came from? I only junk at times during lunch break but not when im at home or during the weekends!

And nobody even mention to me that i put on weight in any way! How could it be? Honestly speaking, i didnt realize myself too that this extra 2KG of adipose tissue is stationed in my body! Ahhhh, so scary can!

I still cannot accept the fact that i had put on so much of weight in like 2 weeks. I spent like a few years to make myself go back where i was when in my secondary school days & now, im like nearly back to my highest record!

Nooooo! Im not gonna let that happen to me! Now, im watching my diet so strictly and making sure i maintain or go back to where i was few months back! How nice would it be if i can allocate those adipose tissue to where i want!

The very first place i wan to allocate all the extra adipose tissue from my tummy, thigh & arms is to my boobs! Stupid body of mine - those adipose tissue just like to go to the place they like but the place i hate!

Heard from a friend of mine whom spent SGD2K on slimming & health products & i seriously saw the significant changes in her! And, guess what, i got one for myself too! And this is my breakup plan - to break those fats in me!

Will this do wonder? I got faith in them cause i really saw the changes in my friend in just 2 months. And many of my friends are taking them with significant results seen. I hope it works on me too! Measured myself just now & i hope in 2 months, i can blog about this miracle!

I dont wanna slim down, all i asked for is to get rid of the adipose tissue in my tummy, thigh & arm! Its as simple as ABC! Eat pray love!

Depressed.

2011-05-14T21:23:00.001+08:00

" Destroying is a necessary function in life. Everything has its season, and all things eventually lose their effectiveness and die "

To me, nothing matters anymore right now, i hate you, i hate me, i hate everything!

Dont bother to find me for im gone - mentally & physically! :) I have into the world of depression. I refused to eat, drink or do anything. I just want to sleep!!

Its Jam-Packed!

2011-05-11T20:46:00.000+08:00

I think i need a bigger cupboard! There are so many stuff in my cupboard & its like i cant barely find any space to put my stuff anymore. Although my cupboard are so full of clothes, im always complaining that im lack of clothes!

Seriously, i even have difficulty taking out the hangers from my cupboard every morning cause its just too squeezey to begin with! Its so packed with my clothes, cosmetics, bags, polish, manicure box & facial products but im always so lazy to apply them!

Luckily, mum gave me an organizer where i can organize my cosmetic & conserve some space although there is no space anymore! LOL~

I super love this organizer but its a pity its not pink in color! It will be perfect if its pink! Hahaha!

And apart from this organizer, i still got my jewelery box which i cant stuff into my cupboard! Sigh!

Therefore, the only place i can put this box is on my table & so i always forgot about my accessories whenever i go out! Damn! And apart from these, i have to put another half of my makeup in another separate bag!

Ok, i know most of my products are from Paul & Joe! Can you sport the similarities among them?

Today marks the end of midweek, which means we are ending the week real soon! Im already feeling tired already & cant wait for weekend to come! This week issnt that bad, so apart from being tired, i have nothing much to complain about.

I just need *! Hahaha~

PAP VS NSP

2011-05-07T22:14:00.001+08:00

Have been rotting at home today - another unproductive day! Went to town last evening to get my Blackberry fixed. Was quite disappointed that i wassnt given a one to one exchange.

Well, not anything major but i just cant get over the fact that my Blackberry cracks when i first dropped them on a carpeted floor shortly after i got them. Its like so vulnerable or did it comes with the crack, im not really sure.

It looks perfectly fine in this pic right? But if you look closely.. ..

See the 2 cracks above & below the navigator!

It cracks at such an unusual place! Whenever i look at the crack, i feel like having this phone replaced. I hate seeing my phone in this condition! Such an inferior workmanship!

Anyway, they just upgraded & reformat my Blackberry & insist that everything is ok. Nothing was address! This is the 2nd time i was there, the same thing happens on the first visit too! Anyway, thank god the problem was fixed for the time being this morning.

Cant wait for Aug to come so that i can recontact my plan & get a new phone! Im looking at the Iphone 4 (White)! I know its silly cause i changed from an Iphone to Blackberry & now i cant wait to change back to Iphone. I can only say - I MADE THE WRONG MOVE!

Met Sis shortly after i left Singtel's ComCenter. Headed to ION's LV & i got this wallet for Dad! It was a hasty decision. Well, its for Father's day cum Birthday present. As for Mother's day, we will be celebrating together next week with Dad & Sis's bday.

Its the Taiga Collection!

Well, i personally like those Damier Ebene's design - the checkered ones but it was too flashy & young for dad. Middle aged man prefer low profile kinda design i guess? Anyway, i hope he like it!

Met Stella after that for dinner at TCC. Planned to head to Bugis but it was too late as the Comcenter's que was long so i was late for the meetup. So plan B was to head to Taka's Arena as they are having a fair there. Collected my phone 2 hours later & headed home.

Went for voting early this morning. I felt so old! Goodness. Its my first time! Well, not really into politic stuff & all but then we still need to vote. If there was a choice to vote for the neutral - neither the government or opposition, i would definitely choose that!

This was the voting ticket.

Took this ticket with my IC, head off to the place - my primary school. It has been ages since i last went back. Its like so new as they refurnish the whole building years back. Lined up & then we were given another ticket, and we made our way to the shelter-like stand to tick our choice on that sheet of paper.

Its like buying 4D or Toto except nobody see what you chose! After that we drop that sheet of paper into a cardboard & off we go! Lucky the que wassnt long cause its so warm today! Who will win lei? PAP or NSP for my side? I guess tomorrow's paper will be damn thick - a political paper not the newspaper! Another rest day till a new week starts.

Goodbye, Wisdom!

2011-05-06T13:40:00.001+08:00

This week is definitely a very fast week for me with with 3 working days & 4 off day! I hope every week is like this but i can only dream on. Early Feb, i visited the dentist & was told that i have wisdom tooth on my upper jaw which grew in an unusual way - grew like the wings of a butterfly.

I was advice to have them removed before they gave me problems in the future as it was seen in a very weird position. Therefore, I scheduled to go back to the dentist few weeks back, but i kept postponing the appointment till ystd, i finally took the courage to visit the dentist for that procedure!

This was the 2nd minor operation i went for. Last yr Dec was lasik operation & now wisdom tooth abstraction!

This is what i hate the most - having to swallow 8 tabs of antibiotic 1hr before seeing the dentist!

Never in my life did i have my tooth abstracted by a dentist before. All my milk teeth came off in a natural way - dropping off itself or i tried to play with it when it was shaky & tadah, out it comes.

Since young, i wassnt terrified when it comes to the dentist. I know most of my classmate in primary school hates the dentist to the max, but i didnt. Till now, all my teeth are still virgins.

I have 0 filling or anything, will just visit the dentist for scaling & polishing. But my right front teeth chips alittle due to an unknown reason - it was chipped off when it grew out & the dentist fixed them for me.

But this visit was a nightmare to me! When the dentist prepared the local anesthetic jab, my heart pounds even harder. I almost wanted to change my mind & get out of the room! Went for a quick X-ray of my tooth & i found out that the 2 lower wisdom tooth was embedded under my gums!

Then the dentist started to gave me the jab in my upper gums. It feels like something is pressuring my gums, a teeny weeny painful, but was bearable. The drug taste damn bitter can!

Then he waited awhile for the drug to work & the nurse covered my eyes with a mask. And when he says "We are going to start now!", i felt damn regretted that i came today! He started with the left side but there was still pain felt so he gave me more jab.

Down on luck, my left upper wisdom tooth was so stubborn. It dont want to come out no matter how he pull. He was like forcing them out in a circular motion & it was still not out! He struggled for like 10mins & my teeth still stays in place!

So he proceeded to the right one, & a pull, out it comes! Half relieved but still worried about the left one! He continued with the left one & struggled for another 10mins & finally out it comes!

Was so relieved that the procedure ended. Half of my face - the left side was so numb. I could even feel that the numbness goes right up to my cheek, nose & eyes! It was definitely not a good experience!

This is my 2 stubborn teeth, im less wise now! LOL~

2 out & another 2 still buried under my gums on the lower jaw! I hope they dont give me any problems! If i were to remove them, i would need to go to the Operating Theatre, put me to slp & drill them out! Awww, i dont want that to happen! :(

I requested to tabao my teeth back! LOL~

Was given 5 days MC, a course of antibiotics & some painkiller. I took 15 freaking tabs of medication ystd! No one can beat my record i guess!

Now i still feel sore in my upper jaws. I cant open my mouth wide & the left side of my cheek is abit swollen. I hope this procedure didnt break any of my vessels or i will have bruise on my face!!! Sorry am in my PJ & i look like a zombie!

Bintan Trip

2011-05-03T22:22:00.002+08:00

My weekends were spent in Bintan with 14 other chups! Tired yet a satisfactory 2D1N trip. This is my very first time to Indo, Bintan. The one hour difference make us all damn confused whenever we looked at the watch. Oh, we just cant get used to having to minus that 1 hour off Singapore time!

Please be aware that you may experience slow loading due to overwhelming large photos.

We are ready for the fun! Ignore my ah gong face! :s

Can you see the excitement on the 14 faces?

Tapping in.. ..

Boarding the ferry.. ..

We are here, Bintan Island!

Arriving at the resort after a 10mins drive from the ferry terminal, Nirwana Gardens.

Checking in.. ..

And our lucky number, 3225! Buy 4D, sure win!

Satisfied with the lodging, nice & clean room.

The first thing we did - Massage!

The full body massage cum body scrub was fairly well done but if given a chance, we will not step in again as the promise were broken!

My room mate cum bathing partner! Drink drank drunk session at night!

Strolling on the beach after breakfast. The beach was fairly clean, well cleaner than Singapore's!

Swimming after breakfast on Day 2. The pool wassnt that fantastic anyway.

Kelong seafood lunch on Day 2.

The most nosiest table that afternoon!

My nanny for the day - she kept putting food on my table & i didnt move at all!

7 seafood dishes for lunch! Fab!

Pasar Oleh Oleh to do some last min shopping for tidbits!

And home sweet home~!

Away for the weekend!

2011-04-29T21:03:00.002+08:00

TIME TO BBQ WENDY!!!

Im ready for the fun, bag packed!

Bintan trip with 14 other chups tomorrow!!!

Im Dying Soon..

2011-04-28T21:09:00.004+08:00

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Its seems that the doctors & specialist clinic are my home & best friend! Have been there so frequently that im so hating those places! Taxing with long waits. Sky high bills and having to wait for so long to see the doctor is ridiculous! I wonder why human get sick so easily!

And after visiting so many places, i still doesnt know whats the fucking problem with my body. My body just malfunction without any reason. Great body i have! Made me spent so much on it yet getting nothing back in return. Zzzz!

Im taking a day off tomorrow as im having 2 specialist appointment at KKH & Gleneagles. Oh damn, its going to cost me a bomb once again! Marvelous much luh! Its just like sucking my blood bit by bit but im lucky enough cause im covered by HSBC insurance for all these.

Day 1

Day 3

And and, this is the free gift after the blood test - a haematoma! Two blood tests in 2 consecutive days! How great! Lucky im not scare of blood taking anymore! I used to be very scare of them, but after going for the phlebotomy course, im scare of needles no more!

Laboratory test results of the blood test are back with abnormal findings! My red blood cell are mildly macrocytic and my serum B12 are super high. Am i getting any terminal illness? A doctor was mentioning leukemia & some other diseases to me as seen when he googles about my blood test findings.

Oh oh oh i got another doctor's appointment on Saturday too but i doubt im going! I gave up, im not going to investigate anything anymore! Im caring no more!! I know my body is in a mess, just let it be then.

Hello LV, Goodbye Gucci!

2011-04-25T23:30:00.004+08:00

New portfolio for submitting my skin! From today onwards, i will put the blogskin that i did in my portfolio for download & im not gonna use blogskins.com anymore cause its useless now! I uber love both my blog & portfolio's skin! It took me alot of effort to do it! Pretty please with the results!

Im so damn bloody broke now & i think i need to survive on pure oxygen from the air from today onwards! Im owing up to SGD5000 on hand right now! Omygoodness! Signed 2 insurance policy which includes a saving plan which needs me to pay SGD350 per month!

Oh dear, i need to pay a total of SGD600 of insurance premium a month! I need to force myself to save from now onwards! No more shopping & only spending on the necessity!

And and and, goodbye to my old Gucci wallet!

Yes, i just brought an LV wallet which cost me a bo bmb! The wallet was flew in from Paris by my sis's fren's fren! I know im like a pure stranger to him & its so kind of him to hunt from outlets to outlets in Paris just to find the model i wanted & once again, thanks to that guy! :)

Hello to my new LV wallet!

Clinic was like a mad house today! Fast & furious especially in the noon! By the end of the day, my mind just cant think straight cause it was occupied by so many things. We only have 2 hands & 2 legs but we got so many stuff to do at one go.

At one point of time, i just cannt make a decision on what thing should come first & which is more important. It seems like everything is important at that point of time! And we got to work like superman - fast & accurate!

So afraid that we make mistakes especially when it comes to things that we are not familiar with! I wonder how busy will the next 5 days be & its just the start of a new week! GG man! :(

Beauty Tips!

2011-04-24T14:32:00.012+08:00

Awhile back, i have been contemplating whether to curl or leave my hair straight, but im afraid i will regret as its not so easy to manage as compared to straight hair! Came to a conclusion which i dont need to - I can use a temporary curler anytime, anywhere!

Recently, i brought a temporary hotpink straightener with lifelong warranty.

The Neo Ceramic pro flat iron is the easiest way to straighten your hair. Ceramic infrared technology creates a lasting style, preserves moisture and leaves your hair with a glossy shine. The Neo luxury ionic hair straightener can be used on all types and textures of hair. It comes with temperature controller so that you can adjust it to the desired temperature. And after using this straightener, the texture of the hair become smoother, softer & shiner!

Yesterday i found out that there was another type of curler which gives you a nice temporary curl too!



You just need to switch on this kit, the curler will be automatically heated and simply curl you hair with the old school method and clip it on & do anything you wish - have your meal or makeup etc. Oh oh & the roller comes in 3 sizes - small, medium & large!



After 10 to 15 mins, you will have those nice & bouncy curls on you! Fyi, im using the medium roller!



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Im selling Schwarzkopf Osis Dust It Mattifying Powder for just SGD5!
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Lesson 1.

2011-04-23T22:42:00.007+08:00

A long weekend, but 2 days are down but i felt that im still sleep & rest deprived. Insomnia everyday! My body is like having this built-in alarm clock & whenever its 8plus, i will auto wakeup. Its so frustrating when i open my eye, looked at the clock, its merely 9am!

I had this super weird dream on Thursday night. I dreamt that my paternal granny & grandpappy passed away & my family have to send their body to the memorial park for cremation. We carried the body into a police van & started driving.

And we drove & drove & daddy drop me off at a shopping center as i need to go to the toilet. He told me to wait across the street & i went missing after the visit to the toilet. I then asked around & found my way back to the vehicle. We started driving & suddenly we are carrying the 2 dead bodies, walking down a stretch of HDB corridor!

Suddenly i woke up from my dream & i went to the toilet. After which i continued my sleep & my dream continued too! It was the exact continuation of the dream before my toilet break! We then started driving pass the expressway with alot of students rioting on the expressway!

The students even carried guns & weapons with the lead of their teachers. And suddenly the dream vanished in my sleep. Thinking back, what the hell does this dream means? My paternal granny & grandpappy had passed away fro quite sometime already!

Dreams are always so stupid & not logical at all! They are the culprit that takes away most of my sleeping time! I seriously need some cough syrup luh! :(

While you are dreaming, your body undergoes noticeable changes. Your adrenaline rises, your blood pressure increases, and you heart beats faster. Dreaming takes place during REM, which stands for Rapid Eye Movement. It is thus called, because your eyes move rapidly back and forth under the eyelids. REM sleep takes place in the fourth stage of sleep and accounts for 15-20% of your sleep time. From the point you fall asleep, it takes 30 to 90 minutes before you start dreaming. You cycle through the 4 stages of sleep and may enter the REM stage 4 to 7 times in one night. During REM, your blood pressure and heart rate fluctuate and increase. It sounds like your body is going through a lot, but in fact, it is quite the contrary. During REM, your bodies are completely immobile and your muscles remain completely relaxed. You may shift in your bed throughout the night, but when in REM, you are completely still. This is commonly known as "REM Paralysis". In REM sleep, the mind is as active as it is during waking. However, chemically it is different. REM is controlled by the excitability level of the cholinergic neruons. Noradrenaline and seratonin are missing in the brain when in the dream state. These chemicals allow the brain to carry out task, solve problems and remember things. This is a reason why you find it so hard to remember your dreams.

Started my first driving lesson today! I started with a blank mind cause i know nuts about driving. Manual car are so difficult & good coordination are needed & the best thing is im so short & petite so i have got some difficulty when driving! Im so stressed when the instructor told me what to do.

I can barely think straight cause i was so nervous as its my first time. Seeing them drive is like so easy but when i tried, its not easy at all can! The clutch & hand brake is like so hard & it makes my knee ache & the accelerator is so sensitive that i have to step on it with tender loving care!

Stressed to the max when i sat on the driver's seat. I told the instructor "Are you serious? You not scare?" when he told me to sit on the driver's seat. Oh well, i hope im not a dumb & retarded student!

Dinner with parents, sibling, granny, auntie & cousin today! I felt so guilty for having 2 big bowl of rice while everyone just had 1 each. So fattening, goodness! Sunday tomorrow! I did practically nothing for the past 2 days! Oh damn, so unproductive!

Money Not Enough!

2011-04-22T23:13:00.006+08:00

Thank god today is a public holiday! Went out to shop ystd & Im so in love with Paul & Joe's makeup product lately! I spent like SGD500 on them already & im super satisfied with the finishing - matte, radiant & smooth! Excellence, i highly recommend this brand but is a teeny weeny expensive!

The set that im using which ranges from the face to the lip which includes a protective liquid foundation, face powder, face powder for shading, pressed powder duo, eye color primer, eye makeup remover, pencil eye liner, face color, lipstick, 2 eye shadow cost around SGD600!

Yes, i brought them all but some were freebies & i guess i spent like SGD400 to SGD500 on them! Now im uber broke, cant wait for payday next week! Shopping session today with Cara & i spent another SGD300 just now while Cara spend SGD250 for her Gucci sunnies!

Taka was having this fair & there was this GUESS sales! I brought 3 pairs of GUESS sandals & its super cheap can! Those branded sunnies was on sales too! Its a good buy! Went for a hairdo after that. I was introduced to this Korean curler that will curl your hair in 10mins! Sorry for the poor image quality by my Blackberry & my ah gong fringe!

Im so irritated by my eyes now! I was alright all the while and suddenly i notice that my lower vision was blocked by something so i went to the mirror & tadah, i saw a bump on my left lower lid! I can see the bump when i look straight or down! I was so disturbed by it!

Hopefully it will be gone by tomorrow or else i need to see the doctor again! What the hell! Kinda exciting im going for my first driving lesson tomorrow! Please make sure my bump go off by then! I dont want my vision to be blocked by this bump! Sigh! God bless me!

Back To Blogging!

2011-04-19T21:06:00.002+08:00

Good news! I think im getting more & more motivated with blogging & codings! I guess its due to my new layout which im so in love with! Im officially back to blogging but i guess my blog will be so dead as usual! Sadness overwhelm when i think of that!

Im working hard on editing my layout & im almost there! Just 15% away from how it looks like in my previous Wordpress layout! Well well well, im quite satisfied with the current one though! Might not have some major change for the time being?

I cant wait for this Friday to arrive! Its only Tuesday & my brain is already so tired due to work. Its like a mad house disease everyday in the clinic. Non-stop motion from the start of work to the end of work & we didnt even have time for a drink.

Im so physically & mentally tired at the end of the day. But although im tired mentally, but im always getting difficulty sleeping most of the night. And so many dreams are running in my brain when im sleeping! Do you know that if you are dreaming, it means that your brain are not 100% at rest?

I even dreamt of something i need to do in reality in my sleep & suddenly i jumped out of bed to get that thing done? This is how bad im doing now! :(

Although im a fan of pink, but my health doesnt seems pink lately! Im like the best friend of specialist! Have been visiting those specialist clinic frequently! Problems everywhere from my head to my toe! And the consultation fee is so taxing! Im like so broke these day!

My tummy especially is giving me ton of problems! Its not feeling well the entire day today! Something is just not right somewhere! Wonder whats up with it! I dont know if im feeling hungry or feeling bloated. I just cant describe that that that feeling luh!

Im depressed, so am my tummy! Everywhere is haywire now! I think i need to fix that broken heart of mine before everything in my system goes back into place.

Who will be there to mend my broken heart?

New Layout!

2011-04-17T22:51:00.000+08:00

Im finally done with a new layout! Hav not been touching html codes for freaking 2years (including the days i used wordpress! I miss wordpress much!)- can you image how long is that, im practically out of date now!

Was damn bored so i decided to play with html codes & unknowingly i came out with this layout! I know this layout is not new to you cause its a edited version of my previous wordpress layout! Somehow i managed to edit to 80pc of how it looks originally!

Well, this motivates me to come back to blogging a little, but then my mood issnt 100pc stabilized & prepared to blog again. I just need that word - HAPPY to blog out happy and exciting stuff. But sadly, this word is no longer in my dictionary.

Im sure this word will appear in my dictionary in the near future! Cheers!

Happy Bday, Wendy!

2011-04-09T21:55:00.001+08:00

This year wassnt the same like before anymore, without you with me. But it doesnt matter anymore cause i can live even by myself. I was greeted by anger & depression this morning!

Angry at myself for i woke up 2hrs before my alarm rings & much depressed for i dont know the reason! This year's celebration was a really simple one, nothing special. I didnt look forward to it anyway. Meetup, dinner and ladies maintenance. Its just like any simple normal day.

Thanks to all my friends whom took the effort to celebrate with me. I didnt celebrate with my frens for a very long time already! I wish my wishes will come true - it doesnt only involve me, i made a wish for all my friends.

Again, very much appreciated for the smses, dinners, tweets, presents, bday cakes & the 135 fb bday wish & im still counting! It was the sincerity that counts! :)

Untitled.

2011-03-22T19:49:00.001+08:00

Im back, for the time being! I seriously miss blogging & my readers too, i swear! If you are still visiting or reading my dead blog, thank you! I know i lost a handful of readers, so sad!

I didnt blog for the past few months cause i dont wanna keep any sad memories in here. A blog is supposed to let you archive your memories so that one fine day in the future, you can still smile when you read those past entries. Right?

Therefore, i will only start blogging once i found my true happiness. Im not sure when it will be? Maybe few months down the road or even years. Well, its all written down my fate & im waiting for it to happen.

Here is a recent of updates of my current life - Life is boring! Im recently working hard, sleeping hard, partying hard & shopping hard. At times, i cant help it but to feel sad but im trying my best to stay happy but it always fail. Well at least i tried!

But i really must thanks my group of friends who are always there for me! I got over him but at times he still runs in my mind and dreams. But whatever it is, its the past now. He let me understand that - everything is unpredictable, treasure what you have infront of you.

My main aim for blogging today is to rant about work! Although we still work as per normal, but the aura at work everyday was really bad! Because of one black sheep, everything turned into a problem. Miscommunication & misunderstanding everywhere.

What is so difficult to just forgive & forget, apologies & then work as a team like we used to be? Some people just must find faults for revenge purpose. Hey come on lah, we are adults, stop being so childish can!! If this continues, one fine day, we nurses will all boycott & good luck to the clinic! Sigh!

BYE ADRIAN LEE!

2011-01-08T13:52:00.001+08:00

Everything ends with a fullstop.
I shall mark these 5years as the most beautiful memories i had.
Yes, im falling apart, but that does not mean i will.
I will try my very best to walk out of this misery as soon as possible,
& will look forward to the very next chapter of my life.

GOODBYE 2010 & HELLO 2011!!

2010-12-30T21:30:00.000+08:00

Im back from my year end holiday! Well, holidays are small getaway but im feeling more tired then ever. Maybe because of the late night sleep and the early wakeups everyday while i was away. Im forcing myself to concentrate on what im typing cause i know i didnt update for ages.

This getaway wassnt as fun as i imagined cause i went Genting for a couple of time already. Jes & i hav been planning for a small getaway in April to Bangkok. Woohoo, i hope everything goes according to what we are going to plan!

The end of the year is getting nearer and nearer. One more day to 2011! Should i be happy or sad? Well, sad for im gonna be a year older! People always say, "After you took your key, time will fly so fast that you dont even know."

This is damn true man! The start of 2010 seems like yesterday! Oh well, another year wasted! Not a very happy year though. Changed 2 jobs, tried something which i didnt thought that i would & party like a rockstar almost all the time. I can say this year is the most stunning one i had.

Its so dramatic that i feel like everything was episodes of drama.When i put everything into a picture, i never fail to laugh at it. No more depressing days for now. Well, i guess everything is god will.

My laptop has been sent for service by TW before i went to Genting. Thank you for taking the effort to do so cause i know i would drag and drag until it dies off. I need to service my Blackberry too but im so lazy to drag myself to the service center! Damn, am i too violent?!

My resolution for next year is to save more money & to be a better person. And and and not forgetting me being loved more!!! Hope next year will be better & it definitely will!!!

Advanced happy new year! Cheers & with love!

BEST XMAS EVER!

2010-12-21T21:12:00.000+08:00

Im having the best christmas ever this year! Anyway, hereby wishing everyone a merry christmas as i will not be blogging for the next few days. Im not in town for this xmas!

Will be visiting granny & cousin & then to Genting for a short break! Im looking forward to this break cause i hasnt had one for sometime. I need to unwind badly!

This xmas was the best one i ever had. Xmas party in clinic was wonderful! We had gift exchange this morning & as usual, fun! And we, the youngsters did another gift exchange ourselves too. In total, i had 6 christmas present now - Hairclip & eye shadow from Jasmine, lip gloss from Christine, 2 pair of earrings from Aiping, a necklace from Stella & a shower set from Grace & im still counting!

And i gave myself a super big present too - lasik & my Gucci sunglasses. It cost more then SGD2500! Although it cost a bomb, i think lasik is worth it. Oh ya, im having 0 degree right now. Everything is so far so good!

I love the fact that i do not need to depend on glasses anymore! I love the fact that whenever i open my eyes in the morning, everything is so sharp to me! I dont feel like a blind mice anymore & i dont need to look nerdy with those glasses!

I simply love this xmas with my wonderful friends!

BROKE!

2010-12-09T20:53:00.000+08:00

Yay, i have lost a KG after skipping my dinner everyday for the past few days! To be happy or to be sad? I dont knw. Whenever the night struck, my appetite went downhill so does my mood.

I wish nothing ever changes. I need you!

I guess im left with nothing but an empty shell. Im so damn broke now. Paid for my lasik & it seriously cost me a big bomb. I can buy 2 LV bag with the money i used for my lasik surgery! Sigh!! Went for check today, everything is fine.

I hope it will be better as days goes. My cornea is still abit misty but flaps are perfect so doc changed a new drops for me. Today's clinic was hell crazy! My leg and body is aching like hell. Need my weekends now!

LASIK OPERATION

2010-12-05T20:24:00.002+08:00

Im finally online! Have not been touching my lappy for the 4th day! Thanks everyone for the care & concern these few days, my eyes are on the way to recovery. Its the 5th day now, the hemorrhage are getting better now & i hope it will go off as fast as possible.

The first day of operation.

The fifth day of operation.

Whenever i go out, people would keep staring at me. Some even asked if my eyes are contagious! Omg! Maybe i should put up a necklace-like signboard to state that i just had surgery done! Am i too paranoid or wad?

On the day, i was quite nervous before and throughout the procedure. They register & prepared me for the op. There is not a need to be nil by mouth for lasik nor is there any other restriction. You can eat as much as you can before the procedure but no eye makeup on the day & one week after op.

There was 2 parts, the flap creation & the lasering. Mine was bladeless (Intralase & Allegretto Lasik) therefore, everything was done by the machine.

They wore for me a paper gown, a white shower cap & 2 paper shoe cover to cover my shoe. Asked me some pre-op questions & washed my eye lid with iodine & gave me some anesthetic drops. I could feel that my eyes were numb. Went in, lie down under a big machine. This machine is to create a flap in the cornea.

They put a equipment on my eye & i would need to look at the red light at all times. They did it one eye at a time, the right first then left. And i felt this pressure as the machine came down & sucked the eyeball to restrict movement.

Counting down 20 seconds in my heart & the flap was created. During the 20 seconds, my eyesight suddenly went blank but came back after a few seconds. Was abit scary though. After the flap creation, my eyesight was as blurry as before the operation.

Removed the gown, cap & shoe cover, i was brought over to a second room. I was given another new gown, cap & shoe cover. By then my eye lid was so so so heavy due to the anesthetic drops. I tried hard to open my eyes, but my eyes just refused to stay open.

For the second part, lied down under a big machine again & they taped my eyelash with a tagederm & a metal piece was put on my top & bottom lids to keep my eyes open. Then i was asked to look at the green light at all times.

Same thing, they start with one eye, the right then left. They opened my flap & started lasering. A loud laser sound could be heard & I could smell the chao-tar smell during the laser! I was abit terrified. During the laser, my eyesight went fuzzy but it came back to norm after a few seconds.

After the laser, they close back the flap and everything was done. Went out of the room, was given antibiotic drops. And i was asked to put them 2hrly for the first day. And i swear, its a torture to put the drops on the first day cause its fucking pain.

And the lubricating drops every 5 mins on the first day. I was so hardworking with the drops that i finish 12 sticks of lubricating drops (8mls in each stick) within 2 hours. My eyes couldnt open for the first entire 2hours! It was so so so glaring & the best thing was i was advised not to sleep after the surgery.

I keep putting the drops in the cab & tried so hard to keep my eyes blinking cause the eyes needs to keep moisturized. Vision was fuzzy on the op day but better on the second day. For me, mine was still glaring on the second day & it would take like 1 week to go off.

I couldnt sleep peacefully on the first day cause i was so worried that i would wake up with painful eyes so i kept waking up automatically to put those lubricating drops. Speaking of which, many asked if its painful during the procedure. I would say no pain at all, just feel uncomfortable as you will feel some pressure on the eye.

Everything was alright for me now just that i may be alittle under corrected.Im still having like less 75 degrees in each eye. Pros & cons on the under/over correction. If you are over correct, you will have difficulty to read near next time. And if ure under corrected, you far may not be perfect but near will be better.

Well, at least i dont need to leave with those nerdy glasses anymore!

HELLO, PERFECT EYESIGHT!

2010-12-01T20:05:00.000+08:00

GOODBYE, GLASSES & HELLO TO MY PERFECT EYESIGHT!

Did lasik today at SNEC, everything was going good but my vision is still hazy & its quite glaring now too. Thank you Dr Chan WK. Had this sclera hemorrhage on my left eye. Gonna blog more when my vision gets better tomorrow or the day after.

Special thanks to TW whom specially took leave just for me. Thank you very much!

IM CHANGED, FOR GOOD!

2010-11-26T20:32:00.000+08:00

This week is really really long! Mentally and physically in distress. Back aching like hell since this afternoon. Im getting old! Well, i need a long peaceful sleep.

Sleep is the only time when i can forget everything. Whenever the system shuts down, nothing will be running. Good. Why god didnt invent a restore or reformat setting in our body? Well, this will be a great setting & i can assure no one will ever commit suicide & Singapore will not face a low birth rate anymore!

Tomorrow is my rest day. My plans for the weekend is - sleep. I will be at home for the whole of weekend. No activities planned & im not gonna get out of the house with my nerdy pair of glasses. Just gonna ensure for another 5 days with glasses on!

Gonna try to save up as much as i can cause im spending a bomb next week. I will try to sleep as much as i could. Im not gonna think and miss you anymore. Well its beyond my control but i will try hard! Im not gonna die because of you cause without you i can still survive!

Im sure i can! Can you do it? Yes i can! I just got to survive thru this critical period & im done with it! Yes, im looking forward to this day & live on my own. Im gonna open the next door of my life! Women of the modern world can live without man!!

I will not get moody because of a man who doesnt miss me. Why should i miss you when you dont miss me? Why should i text you if you dont text me? My initiative for love is gone now! Please make the first move cause i wun!

Was my fb account hacked? I have got nothing to take from in my account, dude!

YOU ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY!!

2010-11-25T20:58:00.000+08:00

Today is totally a bad day. My day was filled with triggers, i got triggered three bloody times. I nearly burst into tears not because i was sad but because i was too angry. Is this so called PMS symptom for girls?

I was so moody & depressed for the whole week. Why must you torture me like this? Maybe you will feel happy when you see me getting hurt and all. Why cant you take the bloody first move? Im tired.

Yes, i love you more then i love myself now! I just cant get you out of my mind. I tried very hard, but i still cant do it. I hate myself too, but what else can i do other then missing you?

These few days, i having been having the thought of death. Im serious. I dream of me slashing my own wrist and the blood was oozing out into the sink. I also thought of inflicting pain on myself like going for a tattoo or something to ease the pain i have in me.

I also hope and pray i will not wake up the morning after every night before i go to bed. And sometimes when i cross the road, i would hope that a car will suddenly bang on me & i would die on the spot. Im going crazy & you are the reason for them.

I no longer have anything to motivate me in life. Nothing is worth living for now. God, i wish to die.. ..can i?

I HATE LIFE!

2010-11-23T20:44:00.000+08:00

Just when i thought you meant the world to you, you disappeared.

Just when i thought everything was so beautiful, my world turned upside down.

I think i dont deserve this but well, it happened to me anyway.

Well, guess this is part & parcel of life, just like life & dead.

I hate to be stuck with this sucky nerdy glasses of mine. Its so inconvenient & the pressure that sits on my ear is so great that my ears are sore. Im so despressed, i swear! It makes me lose confidence in myself.

Really looking forward to the arrival of December. One more week to go~ Was on Mc ystd due to my headache & bodyache. I feel kinda regret that i didnt head to work ystd.

PS: Where is my guardian angel?

DISHEARTED, :(

2010-11-15T20:24:00.000+08:00

Everyday have been so tiring for me. Work & only work. Waking up early in the morning make me hate working but luckily, time pass damn fast when im in work which is a good sign.

So sad for im the only child working & both my elder & younger sisters are enjoying their sleep when my alarm clock rings. Have been having headaches for the past 1 week. Im allergy to weekdays? I dont see any problem on weekends. Whats fucking wrong with my brain? Is there a growth or something?

Im gonna off my contacts lens for the next 3 days for lasik assessment. Im turning in a geek & i hate glasses! Im gonna be so broke after lasik! Wanna sign up for driving classes after lasik! Oh damn, there goes my money again!

I think i will need to keep all my credit/debit/ATM card for the next 3-6 months to prevent myself from spending anymore money. Hopefully i could pay by installment so that i will not feel so bad about spending so much. No shopping for the next 3-6 months makes me pretty sad! I dont know if i could resist all temptation or not. Ding dang dong!

I feel so sad right now! I thought i wanna ask my parents to just help me out alittle with the lasik cost, but on a second thought, i knew its not gonna happen just like 1yr back, i asked if they could help out in the payment of my school. And true enough, i was perfectly right! All i got was some negative comments saying that i would be blind & so on.

They always say i never discuss stuff before i execute the plan, but when i discuss, the outcome will always be the same. So why should i when i did tried, but all i got was scoldings & negative comments? I still dont know what they want!

Why am i always the one who got rejected whenever i wanted to do something but not my siblings? I hate my life! I hate the fact that i can depend on no one but myself for everything. In my life, im always alone! Ever since i was young, when i need or wants something, my parents will always reject or disapprove them all & what i got was just scoldings.

Once bitten twice shy, therefore i promise myself to just keep my mouth shut from there onwards. Nobody knows what i want & what i need. I promise myself that i would work hard in the future & be independent enough to pamper myself since nobody pamper me. I really hate my life sometimes.

I admit that i dont confess my heartfelt feelings out even to my best friend cos im so not used to it. I dont know how to start, so i would rather suffer myself and just lock all the feelings in my heart.

Can i just die & vanish from the world?

If given a chance, i wish i could cos there is nothing in the world which would worth me living for!

(Y) HUB HUB

2010-11-07T21:57:00.000+08:00

Im so busy these days that i hardly on my laptop! I love it this way! Occupy me so that i will not even be free think of anything. I still have gt 4 upcoming appointments booked till the next next wk. My weekends are so packed. *thumbs up!*

I love hubby to the max! Halloween party last week. Universal studio on Fri, Work + clinic outing on Sat & pedi + massage session today.

I barely touch on my lappy these day. Poor lappy is going to fall sick soon. Sucks, weekends are over. Monday blues.. ..

I HATE YOU!

2010-10-28T21:15:00.000+08:00

Im seriously hating my damn pathetic, miserable & monotonous life to the very fucking max. Breakfast > Work > Lunch > Work > Home > Dinner > TV/Computer > Sleep. The repetition goes on & on everyday without fail. What kinda life is this?!

Im always in my own world, standing alone in the dark. I hate this kinda opacity. I hate this kinda feeling. I hate this kinda life. Im tired, seriously.

I need a system or a program that would delete my database partially at my own risk. If i have the system i would like to delete the past and also fast forward to the future & write a fairytale in my life. My heart is aching every single second. It made me hate life.

I dont wanna hug on to any thoughts anymore. In other words, if action and sincerity are absent, ever single word is meaningless. I had enough. I dont wanna hear words that are meaningless anymore, i wanna delete everything, but who can help me?!!

There are billions of people in the world & millions in Singapore. Why issit so hard to make two hearts beat as one?

PLEASE HELP!

2010-10-26T20:26:00.001+08:00

Im so pissed right now! Every single thing is going against me! I couldnt help but to feel depressed & moody all the time! I just cant control my fucking mood!

I feel bad for venting my anger at my mum earlier but i just couldnt help it. It just so natural & i will feel bad the next moment. What is fucking wrong with me? My mood is so imbalance! Hormonal imbalance?

This few days, you & all the memories just kept coming into my mind. I dont know why! But i know for one thing, its not gonna be like what we used to be. What is done is done, there is no way back. Therefore i could only go forward.

I hate my life to the fucking core. Seriously! My mind is always up with an idea of dying or self inflicting of pain. I think im having some psychological condition, depression perhaps.

Im really am tired of life. Who can relieve me?

I would say, it will be only you!

UH HUH!!

2010-10-21T20:25:00.000+08:00

Loving my pink extension! It comes in 2 shades of pink, light pink & hot pink! Woohoo! Im a die hard fan of pink!

Work die me! Its slowly taking my life away. Everyday is so damn busy without fail, but well at least im quite in love with my job. But kinda stressed especially when this month im in charge of the operation stuff.

Every now & then i would be very worried about not passing those notes to my fellow doctors. Its like a mummy who worries when there is no food for the children. Im always keeping on a lookout on where they are going!

1 more week & i will be passing the baton over to someone else! Looking forward to next month!

Im so looking forward to tomorrow's knock off although im working this Sat. Fml. Being single issnt a bad thing but not a good thing too! Oh well, have to see where you are looking & what you are looking at!

Mummy just told me to apply for leave for xmas as we are going to Malaysia. Well, its better then nothing. I seriously need to unwind after working for 1 solid year! Hope and pray my leave will be approved!

TELEPATHY?

2010-10-17T13:36:00.002+08:00

Yesterday's night was the most superb day of my life for the past 3yrs! Love is nearby, somewhere over the rainbow! Headed out at 10.30PM to meet Pepe. Was such a coincidence that we both wore pink & it was the same shade of pink loe! Telepathy eh?

Totally stunned to the max when i saw it. He had his dinner, then we got our popcorns & then headed into the theater. We watched "Legend of the Fist" and it was quite okay but its kinda exaggerating.

Cabbed back & we sat down near in an open area to chill. Talking & lifting your head up to glaze at the star at the same time was pretty relaxing. We chatted alot about the past. I think this is really fate!

Although there issnt alot of stars last night but im still loving it maximum cause of who im with! I miss Malaysia's sky, it is always filled with stars.

Headed home at 4:30PM. Bath & make my way to bed. He called and we chatted till 5.15PM & off to bed. Sweet sweet sweet!

I hate myself for being such a light sleeper. Slept at 5plus but i woke up at 8plus. WTF loe! Whats wrong with my brain activity?! Seriously hope that there will be a on/off button installed inside.

However, im gonna nap again in half an hour's time.

Since im free today, i cleaned, tidied & packed my cupboard and desk. If only money can be grown like dust, everyone will be filthy rich!

Packed all the memories of you & me inside a box and hide them in my cupboard. The bears, photos & stuff that you gave me were in there. I felt sad for a moment when i accidentally saw those pictures we took back then.

Missing you a teeny weeny bit right now! Sigh! My heart is feeling so heavy right now! Alrighty, not gonna dwell anymore since i already wrapped everything up. Goodbye to those beautiful memories & hello to my sweet future!!

:)

2010-10-16T17:50:00.000+08:00

It has been nearly a week, im perfectly fine now. Loving & living my life to the fullest. Thank you for everyone who was there for me. I love you people especially hubby! Now i know who is my real friend, and who is not! :)

Went to Gleneagles Hospital just now for a thorough check up with Stella. Did the ultrasound & so on. Luckily everything was fine. Felt so awkard & shy, my first time doing such stuff! Awww~ Hopefully those medicine helps in regulating my mense!

Mummy cooked crab today, well yummy as usual. Told her about the breakup & she was irritating me with all sorts of question. Well, stop asking me about it! I have already throw the past behind, im looking forward to the future right now!

PS: I love you!

SINGLEHOOD FTW~

2010-10-12T20:09:00.002+08:00

Didnt update my blog for so damn long. Im undergoing alot of stress these days from work. Im still learning every single bit of things & everytime im always so paranoid about making mistakes. My anxious thoughts always makes me go gaga!

Why do man have to work? Logically, its to earn money! How i wish i could have a job which doesnt need me to use brain & also well paid as well. I guess there issnt any but to marry a rich man & be a tai tai at home.

Who doesnt want to be a tai tai in the first place? This is every single woman's dream man! Well, i guess it all depends on the word, FATE! If you are fated to be, you will be!

Well, gotta formally announce that im single officially after 5 years of being attached! Well, many people asked "Are you sure you are able to let go of this 5yrs relationship?"

Well, yes i can do it, i know i can! There is no specific reason for the breakup, its just that im seriously sick & tired of that kinda life so now its time to try something new! Its for real this time! Dont worry, im perfectly all right.

I just need someone better!

:(

2010-10-04T21:37:00.002+08:00

Its so near yet so far! I wonder what is my life about? After much thinking, its just a "NOTHING" other then working, sleeping & eating. Seriously getting sick & real tired of it. My life is in a big mess, i swear!

I should learn how to love you more right? But my heart just couldnt do so. What am i going to to? :(

UBER SAD MAX!

What's life?
What's love?
What's fun?
What's happy?
What's forever?

What's sadness?
Yes, i only know what this is!

My life is so saddening! Much pathetic!

WELL.. ..

2010-10-01T22:33:00.003+08:00

If only, life can be so bombastic like fireworks! Well, mine was the opposite right now, lifeless & dead!

My life has turned boring after i started taking up this job. My life is about work & sleep, nothing else. Bf was like a stranger to me right now. Oh dear, it dulls my everything. However, i dont regret taking up this job.

Everyday is practically as busy as a bee. Non-stop from the start of work till the end of work. My legs is aching like mad after the end of the clinic. Quite stress actually.

I just hope that i will be down with high fever this weekend. You can say im crazy, but i can sense that my body is super worn out right now! I seriously need ample of rest.

I need to unwind. Like se-fucking-riously! :(

I LOVE SHOE!

2010-09-26T22:29:00.000+08:00

Omfg! I didnt update for nearly a week! A long long week at work. I must admit that its a tiring week & im super tired by Friday. Work on Sat was a killer for me! Dragged myself to work but im still happy with work. I love my friends much!

Depressed after work on Mon due to A. He is such an ass! No longer know which sentence is true or which is fake. You seriously make me confused! I dont wanna fight but you are the one who assume i started it. FML much much much!

Was so depressed that i took some cough syrup with sleeping pills. I dont wanna give a damn to the world anymore & i slept for nearly a day! Fucking 20 hours without lunch and dinner! I was so weak by the time i was awake.

On my way back to work on Sat, i eyed on a pair of GUESS wedges in ION! Super chio & high but expensive at the same time! Headed down to ION to get it but they dont carry my size but they told me Bugis's outlet have it so went down to Bugis after that.

I fucking brought them for SGD135! Super satisfied & it makes my day! Buying shoe cheers most girl up. I dont know if it applies to every girl, but at least it applies to me!

I never fails to step into a shoe shop whenever i shop, i swear! Had a crab feast too just now. Super full & super sinful! 2 more hours to weekday! :(

2010-09-20T20:27:00.000+08:00

If i were given a chance, i would start all over again, but not with you..

Sometimes i just think why do i even love you & will stick with you for so long when you treat me this bad? Damn it! Something is seriously wrong with my mind!

TIRED DIE ME~

2010-09-17T23:27:00.001+08:00

Waking up at 6AM in the morning everyday makes me hell tired! Work was fun, challenging, stressed & tiring as well. So many things to learn & so little time. I need to get everything into my head as soon as possible!

The flu bug cant live without me. Im still down with flu! Irritating nose of mine & my voice turned sexy & hawt! The flu medicine & the flu jab i took few months back dont work on me this time! Luckily, the sore throat is gone.

I woke up with red & swollen eyes today. It barely can open but i still force them to as i need to work. Well, luckily its much better after i went out from the house. Hopefully nothing goes wrong!

Bugis with Jes & my new friend, Catherine after work today. Went to alter my coat! I hope the alteration dont take too long! Qued for KOI & it was quite fast today! I wish they will open a new outlet in JP soon!

Tried Ai-Yu ice tea & Chocolate milk tea but i still love Vanilla milk tea & ice cream milk tea the best with 70% sugar level. Shopped & went for lunch at Chang, a korean restaurant! Kimchi & rice cake was superb!

I realized that i spent less then 5 bucks this week excluding today's dinner! Work then straight home daily. Lunch was smth simple. Either maggie or bread with a cup of milk. Not sure if this will help in shedding off unwanted fats. But i have been eating alot today!

1 cup of Ensure Life milk, 2 half boiled egg, 2 pc of bread, 1 chicken wing, 2 slice of pizza, a cup of ice longan, a slice of strawberry shortcake, a regular KOI chocolate milk tea, a bowl of Kimchi Ramen, 5 pieces of rice cake & a big sheet of seaweed.

Cant wait for tml's date with Jes & Cara. I seriously need a good massage before the aches get worst. Party over the weekends, perhaps?

PLEASE LET ME OFF!!

2010-09-15T20:29:00.001+08:00

Started my new job on Tuesday! Everything is so far so good. Had a busy day on my first day of work. It was so busy that i was being left alone but well, luckily i have got experience & exposure in SNEC in the past.

Had backache, flu & sore throat on my first day of work which makes me feel sucky. Luckily the sore throat was gone after take some anti-inflammatory last night. But the flu bug still didnt let me off.

I kept having this sneezing feeling all the time but didnt sneeze! The feeling is so sucky! Hope the flu goes off tml after medication tonight! *hope & pray*

Today was almost free all the time. Learn how to take Fundus photo, anterior photo & OCT Disc & macular today! It was fun! But practise makes perfect, therefore im still under training.

I hate oversized clothing! My uniform looks oversized on me, as always! Sigh! Wonder where can i find cheap cheap tailor!?

BABY AGED A YEAR!

2010-09-13T22:21:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ❤!

Its the fifth time i celebrated ❤'s bday with him. Although its something simple, but i hope he likes it. Im running out of ideas & im a bad brain stormer alright?

Headed to town on Sunday with ❤. As usual, a date with movie. Watched Girl$, my first R21 show after so long! Well, i think its kinda gruesome with those more intense R rated stuff.

I love Diaso so much that i visited the shop at IMM & Ion for 2 days consecutively. Brought some bling bling to bling my Blackberry! Although it doesnt look professional, but still, im loving it to the max! ❤'s questions & answers always never fail to make me laugh!

LOVE: I wanna get an egg opener!

ME: For fuck?

LOVE: Hey, girl cannot ask this kind of question!

I dont really feel comfortable in the theatre throughout the movie but well, nothing fascinating afterall. Something similar to a M18 show. The plot wasn't nice with that meaningless storyline.

Sleepover at ❤'s place. I think im addicted to those Iphone games. Wtf! I wassnt even really interested in those games when i was using an Iphone in the past but why am i so into it now when i dont have one?

"Cherish before its gone"

Had total insomnia last night. I didnt sleep at all, not even a 5 minutes power nap. So pissed at myself! My brain activity just cant stop. Had slight headache with sore throat after i woke up. I hope im not getting sick anytime in the next few months!! Im sleep deprived like seriously seriously!!

Took a nap & i spent nearly half an hour before i doze off finalfuckingly. Was dreaming away & 5 minutes later, tadah, phone rang & mum called. Totally totally damn pissed off! I cant get back into my dreams after that. I hate insonmia!

Headed for dinner at 5PM. ❤ was so excited like a small kid before dinner cause he was craving for crabs. I think im sicked of the stuff in Kushin-bo. I didnt eat alot today although im super hungry as its my first meal of the day at the time of eating. My tummy was over flooded with food by the time we finish eating.

I miss Jes max max! My soul will be with you, bestie! Will be embarking on a new adventure tomorrow! Kinda terrified yet excited! I have long forgotten everything that i have learn in the past. I need a refresher!! Wish me luck!!

GOODBYE NUHS!

2010-09-10T00:01:00.003+08:00

My 3 mths in IMU & 6mth 9 days of journey in NUS came to a closing today. Wow, have been staying for nearly a year in NUH! Time seriously strike like the lightning, fast & furious.

I dont knw to feel sad or happy but i definitely will miss Jes & miss disturbing the girls in FCC! Will miss the chit chat session while waiting for those patient.

But of cause, im gonna miss/not miss GUSTO with people who dont have much topic to talk about, the uber cold palace (Andrology Center) & those nice patients! Not forgetting those super uber cute newborny! They are love at first sight!! Yay, no more on-calls to do.

Today is my last day of week & also the ending of recruitment phrase. Today was totally a hectic day! So many things to do & we were having a marathon with time. Quarreled with a PCA infront of a patient too. Ridiculous of her to change our protocol when she gave the information to the patient & came back blaming us for not informing the patient.

What the hell la?! Its her bloody fault & yet she is trying to push to us infront of the patient & acting so innocent. Lucky its my last day! Gosh! She simply loves to play tai ji i guess! Asses!

Till now, i still dont knw if i made the correct choice cause i felt so bad! I had super nice boss & also, felt bad for dumping Jes alone. Wanna thank her for being there for the past few months. I love her max max! Hate my farewell lunch treat from Janie the boss last Friday at Thai Express!

I swear she is the nicest boss ever! Having a long weekends ahead. Am staring work at ERS on the 14th! Quite looking forward to my 1st day of work. Am embarking on a new journey! How will it be like? I wonder wonder wonder!

UNTITLED

2010-09-05T20:38:00.000+08:00

1．不要经常去试探男人，更不要以分手做为威胁，当你经常给他这种心理暗示，他的潜意识就会做好分手的打算。

2．不要因为男人爱你就无限制的扩张自己的权利，不要干涉他的理想、信仰和追求，不要自以为你比男人看的更远，他一定有些特质是你所不了解的。

3．不要经常迟到，不要以为男人爱你他就应该有无限的耐心，一个人的耐心是有限度的，耐心消磨完了，就该消磨爱。

4．不要信奉这句话"你爱我，你就应该知道我想什么"，这完全是一句鬼话，没有人会完全知道对方想什么。由于男人没有及时了解到你的想法，而得出男人不爱你的结论是非常愚蠢的。

5．不要经常叫男人陪你逛街，没有几个男人真正的喜欢逛街，强迫的最终结局就是反抗。

6．男人在热恋时为女孩子做的事情，不要指望他在以后的生活中一直持续下去，聪明的女孩子通常都会打五折。

7．不要因为他是你最亲近的人，就可以向他倾诉一切，你的不幸、痛苦、委屈和牢骚都给他，将他做一个出气口，男人不是废品收购站，当他确认他无法改变你的时候，他就只有逃离。

8．不要去试图改变男人，不要想着他会在你的调教下成为你理想中优秀的男人，去适应他比要改变他来的明智。

9．不要对自己的魅力过分自信，没有几个男人会永久的承受出尔反尔，没有几个男人可以招之即来挥之即去，除非，这个男人爱你别有动机。

10．不要抓住男人的一次错误不放，并在每次争吵时喋喋不休的引用，没有任何一个男人喜欢这样的女人。

11．不要用这样的思路来指导你们的爱情——在男人的言行中寻找他不爱你的证据。男人不能每时每刻将精力放在女人身上，他不可能注意到女人的每次暗示和不快。当你用放大镜来寻找灰尘的时候，总会找的到，这样做，只是在指导男人，告诉他如何不爱你。

12．男人在思考的时候，尽量不要打扰他，他有时也需要独处的快乐，那并不证明他不爱你。

13．男人和你再亲密，也不要随便伤害他的自尊，不论是在别人面前还是独处，伤害就是伤害，不论他是否爱你。

14．不要为男人过去的感情吃醋，也不要强迫男人告诉你，你比他以前任何一个女友都好，事实就是事实，如果他违心的说你好，他反而会记住另一个事实。

15．不要把自己的男人和别的男人比较，不要说他不如别人浪漫、不如别人体贴，每一个人都是特殊的，爱的方式也不同，经常这样说会使爱成为一种心理负担。

16．永远在男人面前保持一点神秘感，不要将自己的一切都百分之百的袒露给男人，一个人吃的太饱是会厌恨食物的，而不会感激。

17．不要指望用性来获得男人，这是捕获男人最不牢*的方式，因为爱情与肉体无关。

18．爱情是一个磁场，而不是一个绳子，捆着他，不如吸引他。一个绳子会让男人有挣脱的欲望，而一个磁场却能给男人自由的假相，和一个永恒的诱惑。

19．不要指望一个男人无条件、象个奴隶一样的爱上你（那样的男人也不值得去爱）。你要在爱情中充当一个至高无上的女皇，最终你会发现，你将跌的很惨。

20．请衡量一下，如果你们的爱情是你享受了更多的权利，而对方要尽更多的义务，那你就要试着改变，爱情也适合经济学的规律，形成互赢的局面才会持久。

OH MY..

2010-09-04T23:30:00.000+08:00

This week is horrible! Train termination at JE is hazardous! It takes me about an hour to travel from my place to Clementi MRT station. Damn ridiculous with all the jam packed buses. Well, now everyone realized the importance of the MRT today i guess!

I love the ceiling screen in ION. While i was waiting for Stella, i happened to look up the ceiling & its so damn lovely! Those digital animation makes my day. It makes me smile as it feels so calming!

Party world with the chubs today in Town! 4 solid hours of K! Sing die us! I nearly lost my voice although i didnt sing much because i dont listen to Chinese songs. However, fun fun fun!

Shopping & there my money goes! Brought a pair of sandals & a black jacket. I think i look so handsome in them! Loves! Upcoming activities for next week is still shopping. Omygod! I seriously need to eat grass alrd!

Was telling Stella in the train that im craving for BBQ Stingray so i took up my phone, called & he said, "Let's have BBQ stingray for dinner!". I was totally stunned! He read my mind! He & i had telepathy! Omygosh! Loves loves!

Had 2 bowls of rice. Mad sinful with my bloated cum constipated tummy! I seriously need to eat less, spend less & walk more! I cant wait for next week - 4 more days!

Love is as much of an object as an obsession, everybody wants it, everybody seeks it, but few ever achieve it, those who do will cherish it, be lost in it, and among all, never... never forget it.

WHAT IS LOVE?

2010-09-02T22:01:00.001+08:00

People told me,
I should write a love song.
"Girl you sound so angry,
You could use some variation"
But I'm lonely
Negative relations.
I've been hurt so many times.
I don't have the patience.

What if I never find and I'm left behind?
Should I keep hoping for love?
What if I'm still the same?
Status doesn't change?
Gotta keep hoping for love.

What is love?
Somebody show me.
What is love?
Cause if you told me i wouldn't be lonely.
What is love?
Please show me.
What is love?

I've had blind dates.
Hooked up with some real flakes.
I've gone out with church boys.
Musician's are the worst.
I've tried so hard.
'Cause I'm just so die hard.
Tried my best to play the part.
Wish you could see inside.

But I've wished for so long.
For someone to come and show me.
Lead by example.
'Cause I've been waiting.
I've tried every age.
I'm so tired of the game.
I wanna be somebody's girl.
Would you show me the way?

Thanks deary for being there all the time. ILY! :)

DUMBFOUNDED :(

2010-09-01T17:57:00.003+08:00

Just barely hanging onto love.
Now im hanging in mid air. Unable to go any higher nor lower.

Everything is choking me to death. I need air & room to think what i really need & what i really want.

珍惜当前，永远胜于三心二意.

不要认为后面还有更好的，因为现在拥有就是最好的.

LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU NOT?

2010-08-31T19:09:00.000+08:00

How issit like to fall deeply in love with someone?

How do i know how much i love a person & how much he worth in my heart?

This question kept floating into my mind these few days. Just some simple questions, but i dont seems to know the answer. I know i would never get the question right cause i dont know how to love anymore. Silly dumb me!!

So many things spin in my mind. Yea, its complicated but i need to get the facts right this time. I just need a teeny weeny bit more time before i could solve this complicated mystery of my heart.

My nightmare is ending in less then 10 days! It finally comes to an end cause everything is disguising to the max! Im counting down till my very last day!

But i cant bare to leave my dear Jeslyn! For me, i could do anything. Alright, i sound as if im a lesbo, but im not k!! Lend my hand to Jeslyn to practice blood taking as she is going for the course tml.

I admit i was a teeny weeny scared of taking blood & also its her second time but i still let her practice without any hesitation. Thats what friends are for! :)

I realized that my temper is getting from bad to worst these day. I used to have super good temper in the past when i was younger, but where has it gone to? I always flare up because of some teeny weeny problem now. So stop testing my patience!

2010-08-28T23:53:00.000+08:00

My blackberry service is activated! Loving my mad chio berry! Loves it to the max luh! Although i spend more then 5 bucks on the theme, but im falling in love with it. Chio chio chio!~ No regrets!

Woke up at 6AM for attachment. Its like damn early to me cause i usually wake up 40mins later. Made myself a glass of holick & it taste horrible! I guess i didnt make a drink for myself for too long.

Attachment today was alright. The people were nice & all. Im looking forward to that day! Shopping with Stella & Cara in Far East Plaza. Got my uniform & coat. Brought home & it was super heavy!

I walk like one drunkard in town with that bag with 2 pink top, 1 red top, 1 pink polo tee, 1 black pants & 1 black coat cause its too heavy for me and i tends to lost my balance at times. Brought a pair of heels & a pearl bracelet. I really should stop spending! Im gonna eat grass soon.

IM. AM. DAMN. FUCKING. BROKE!!!

Bugis with Cara. Steamboat session for 2 solid hours. My first visit to the shop & i would say its not bad. I ate alot of chicken & pork today which i dont usually like. And the small fried bun with condensed milk was fab! Gonna gain some real fats for being so greedy!

May i be greeted with diarrhea or a bug when i wake up the day after?

BB FTW~

2010-08-27T21:56:00.002+08:00

Oh yay! Happy to the max!! Finally, i got my dream phone! Like finally after dreaming for months! I used my Iphone for less then a year & now im changing it again! Handphone marathon luh! Im still exploring on the phone as im seriously a noob luh!!

Good bye Iphone & Hello Blackberry!!

Glad that i didnt spend a single cent for the change. A, please take good care of my ex bf uh! But i dont have anymore free unlimited SMS! Ultimate sadness. No more spamming of SMS anymore in the future. Im so used to spamming already.

Im still looking for the condom for my Bb bold 9700. Anyone knows where to get them with nice designs? I want to modify it into a Pink berry! :P

I think Singtel should change their operator man! They verbalized that Blackberry Bold 9700 dont comes in White anymore when i called Singtel few days back as its out of stock. But the truth is they only have white now!

A complete liar! But well, thanks to the guy, Chris whom help me to cancel my data plan without having to pay any penalty cause i breech the contract. Cant wait for my Blackberry service to be activated man!

Still mastering the art of it!

Gonna go for attachment tml at Eye Retina Surgeons. Im so looking forward to it & is terrified as well. Outing with Cara after attachment. Gonna steamboat till we LS! Oh, im on call this week too! My last on-call week & hopefully everything went well & i will not receive any SMS/call from my colleagues. I dont wanna break my record!

OOKAYLEI~

2010-08-26T23:15:00.000+08:00

Weekends blue! This week is the worst week ever! Lack of manpower to the max! Everyone is either on MC or leave. Everyday i have been waiting for the arrival of Friday! Yay, tml is Friday! Pedicure cum massage at Chinatown with Jes on Tuesday! And had KOI as well. Ultimate loves!

Dinner cum movie. And and and, Mickey has got a big bro! Thanks to my daily stalker!

The urge of changing my iphone for Blackberry is getting stronger! My iphone keep dying on me! Something is fucking wrong with it! Might be changing over the weekends, but im like real broke now! Should i get a new line or just upgrade & trade my Iphone for Blackberry? BB, wo lai le~

FORLORN, :(

2010-08-23T23:11:00.003+08:00

Its 10:48PM right now & i just reached home. There is a washing machine inside me, a gigantic one! My gastric has been hurting me since this evening after Sakae Sushi. Have i been eating too much recently?

Work was atrocious today! I felt so nonessential, like seriously. I have never felt this way before, never! Everything is so superficial. I know you hate me but well, im gonna disappear soon. Im so not happy everyday! :(

I kept having this super odd feeling in me everyday! Im sick & tired of work, therefore i dont wanna give a damn about it anymore, seriously! I feel so utilized! From now on, i will always remind myself, "Its ok, its alright, its gonna be over soon! :)"!

Bugis with Jes today. Met her friend, Cherry. Today, i felt so gigantic cos i was the tallest among the 3 of us. Basically, cause i was wearing a 2cm heel. For the first time in my life, i felt so tall. LOL!

Im always the shortest among all my friends, but today im not! Im so not used to it! Shopped, brought a pair of black stocking & a translucent white lacy top. Yay, another top added into my clubbing collection!

Got a new ear-ring too. A super cool ring - a key pad with bling bling! Loving it to the max! I need a pair of flats but i should stop shopping for this month! Budget out of control!

TCC-ed with a cup of Mango Yogurt with lovelies. And my tummy got worst. Who can give me a sick bug? I need one now! Trained home with T, my daily stalker. ♥ Everything is so near, yet so far.

Pictures will be posted once uploaded. Till then..

CANON FTW~

2010-08-21T22:21:00.004+08:00

Im finally brought my cam after so long cause i cant stand Iphone's cam anymore! Sucky maximum! Happy yet broke like mad! Was contemplating between Olympus or Canon earlier on. After comparing & much consideration, i finally decided on,

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CANON FTW~

TADAH!!!

MY NEW GADGET, CANON IXUS 130!!

Although this cam dont comes in baby pink which i wanted it so so much, but still, im loving it! I cant have the best of both world right? Hotpink is still acceptable to me, i just adore pink so much! Frankly speaking, im sllightly disappointed but still satisfied with the end result! Compact & chio to the max!

Canon, delighting you always! :)

PLS TURN BACK OR FAST FORWARD TIME!

2010-08-20T21:11:00.002+08:00

I have got serious insomnia after chatting with Cara last night. It hurts like hell after i heard about what he said about me. Lied in bed for more than 4 hours before i doze off. That sentence just lingers around my mind & couldnt go away. Tears dropped cause i cherish you so much, i swear!

Guys whom control their girlfriend on who to befriend with are losers! Im officially hating this kinda guys to the max! Get lost off my sight if you are one! So un-gentleman can! Thanks Irene, Stan & esp T for comforting me last time! Thank you for being there, lovables!

I dragged myself off the bed, prepared & headed to work so unwillingly. I wish i could just escape from this job immediately! Sad to say, i still got 3 more works before last day! 20 more days to endure!

I got a hard time today with a case! As usual, i felt so helpless during work. Nobody bothered to even help me with it when its my first time handling such cases. I just wish that i could just run away from it & hide in a hole.

Im glad i have Jes with me! Loves! We were so bored to the extreme that we tested this glucose drink for patient. This was supposed to be given to the patient during a procedure & its a very sweet drink as it contains 75g glucose but to me it tasted limey.

Something is really wrong with my taste bud or it was supposed to taste this way? Maybe it is really way too sweet that it tasted slightly sour to me as i hated sweet stuff to the max. I cant stand super sweet stuff! After drinking, my throat was feeling so uneasy!

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I was so bored that i went to http://friendster.com to take a look! Friendster have been overtaken by Facebook these day that nobody even bother to login Friendster i guess. Im one of them! Logined in my Friendster few days back, looked at my outdated picture & memories flows back into my mind!

This was the very first few picture i took with boyfie 5 years ago! Omg, it was that long! I still remember this picture was taken by one of the super old model phone i used to hold - Nokia 3230 5 years ago! I miss those days!

And and and, i used to look so fugly! Im sorry i looks so nerdy & childish! Ohmygoodness! But any major changes in me? I dont think so? Used to remember Friendster was as popular as how Facebook is now! Everybody never fails to have a Friendster account! But i dont remember how it dies! Maybe of its boring features!

"You brought me to life. Now every February, you'll be my Valentine!"

Im still trying to look for the picture we took for the first time, but where did i put them? Maybe i lost them after my first hard disk crashes! Where the hell are you?!

FML & KILL ME NOW!

2010-08-19T19:40:00.000+08:00

Im so sick of living! I just wish someday i will get knocked down by a car on my way home & die on the scene with my last words. I feel so inferior everywhere i go! People who are attitude towards others because of their mood swing should just die!

"How we think shows through in how we act. Attitudes are mirrors of the mind. They reflect thinking"

Singaporean's attitude is getting from bad to worst, like seriously! Scolding the innocent will make you feel no better! So the phrase "What goes around comes around" are just bullshit. Work was real sucky today! Being polite & nice but got scolded in return is what i got today! FML!

NUH should just review their staff's attitude & service & see how bad some is, especially those in the ward setting! Went to ward 48, stood infront of a nurse & politely asked her to open the door of the nursery & she just walked off without even responding to me.

I guess i was transparent! I didnt wear the emperor's new clothes! Then proceeded to ward 98, approached a nurse to ask for some casenote, a PSA passed them to me & we politely asked her if we could use the photocopier. She activated the photocopier, walked off & started nagging & shouting at us in an angry tone.

In the first place when we asked her politely, she could just reject us politely right? She got all the right to do so cause we were merely asking! Why must she flare up when we are talking politely to them? Dont let your PMS symptom affect or ruin people's mood! If you are having a mood swing, its your goddamn problem, not others!

No matter how bad your mood is, you should just act a smile infront of others cause your mood swing aint caused by others but your goddamn hormones/body! Nobody will care if your smile is an act when you are in a bad mood! This is basic courtesy, asses!

Most of the staff in NUH issnt polite at all. I would say "NO" to visiting NUH in the future! Im glad that im leaving! Im sure there are alot of nurse with uncouth behavior around. I would rather die than to stay in the hospital with such nurses around, it will make one even more ill!!

LOVE VS RELY

2010-08-18T21:22:00.007+08:00

How i wish i could be like Bella from Twilight, liking Jacob & loving Edward! I was having insomnia again last night. Flipped around in bed for nearly 2 hours before i make my way to lalaland. Am i stressed up in work or my brain activity just couldnt stop?

Love, what is love?

Go to http://dictionary.com & you will get 28 different kinds of meaning. In short, its an affection or a liking.

Many thing came flashing into my mind. I came to a conclusion that im relying on boyfie more then im loving him. I am always flaring up because of small little things. And i tends to give him answer like "Im tired/lazy!" when he suggested meetups.

I took everything for granted & decides everything by my mood. When boyfie call, i will try to end every call by using excuses like, "Will call you later!" etc. These started after she appear 3 years ago. A wound is always a wound & it will be there no matter what. It will eventually turn into a scar & be with you forever.

Frankly speaking, we dont text each other often other then "Good morning" or "Goodnight" & we will only have a short 1 to 2 mins chat on the phone everyday. I know im not a good girlfriend & i dont think this is called love anymore.

LOVE VS RELY?

What will you choose?

I know i should do something to my goddamn relationship. But the rely is so strong that im so used to it. I am always lost when i ask myself to come to a conclusion. I know i should stop liking T & i kept reminding myself that i cant! I cant help it but to feel happy after his call.

Im so sick & tired of life, like seriously! What should i do?

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Work is as boring as usual. Jiams told me that she saw one of my pic while i was clubbing in ButterFactory in April with Has & Rein in one of the Juice Magazine. Shocked! Wonder where can i get the May issue of Juice Magazine. Anyone?!?!

I was quite amazed by a newborn whom weigh 5.5KG! Mind you, he is just 1 day old & he weigh more then a pack of 5KG rice! Went to NICU to visit him & he was really humongously huge & he look like some 6 months old baby! I have never seen such a big baby before!

Poor him, he was having some difficulty in breathing with tubes all around his body. Best of luck, baby!

KOI Makes My Day!

2010-08-17T18:38:00.004+08:00

A super busy day today with a crampy stomach! 4 patients for the morning, 2 recruitment with 3 employee! We were so busy that our in-charge have to help us with the ground work as well. Everything was kinda hectic. Took 10 tubes of blood for 3 patients in just 30 minutes! Yummy!

If i was a vampire, i will be damn satisfied for today! Blood, blood & more blood! Luscious maximum~ However, quite pleased that everything goes well although my legs were quite jelly throughout!

Slacked, chit chatted & disturbed Jiams in after lunch while waiting for my subject. Oh well, its not my day. Waited for an hour & yet she didnt turn up & she is not the one im looking for. My bad!

Tendered my resignation letter in the morning & the HR called a few hours later. Didnt expect it to be so fast! NUS's way of resignation is so weird! They will send you a copy of the resignation template & you just need to edit & give it back to them.

A good thing cause you does not need to crack your head on what to include in the letter. My last day will be on the 12th Sept & im left with 4.5 days of annual leave.

How should i spend it or should i just let the HR convert into cash? Will be starting my new job on the 13th Sept. No short rest as i cant afford to. I felt kinda bad to resign at this peak period but im looking forward to the 13th Sept.

And and and to my surprise, Eve suddenly appear in the office with my KOI bubble tea which she intend to buy tonight & bring them to work the next day! So nice of her to deliver it all the way to our office on her off day! A million thanks to her man! It seriously makes my day! ❤

Miss Hangover!

2010-08-16T19:04:00.002+08:00

Im leaving Wordpress for Blogspot as of today cause Wordpress kept giving me problems. So i shall stick to Blogspot from now on. Good the bye, Wordpress!

MISS HANGOVER, thats me! Out with Cara & got my heels in Bugis. Im loving it! Love at first sight! Dinner with my Thai Express cliques~ Yes, we are a big fan of Thai express!

Met Irene on the way at Vivo & headed to Powerhouse. The club was rated M18 & so she was left outside with her cliques. Poor her but she manage to sneak in after that.

My first picture with Irene on our second meeting!

Clubbing during the weekends was awesome, but it left me sick after that! Hangover as i drank too much for the night. Joined Stan & friends & party the night away! Clubbing, supper & home. Fun maximum although i was damn tipsy when i left the club. Addicted to it pretty much.

My lesbo partner & i love you so!

Had hangover for the whole of yesterday. Headache, stomachache & nausea. Despite feeling sucky, i still manage to crawl to boyfie's place. Lie in his bed all the way while boyfie & his brother was busy with their "artpiece".

Tadah! This Popeye took them nearly 5hours!

As of today, was accompanied by my new boyfie!

I didnt turn up at work due to the hangover. Hangover can last for days! Went to the doctor, got my MC & medicine as well as the sleeping pills. Im doomed! My body system is so strong that i didnt fall asleep after taking 1 tab of sleeping pill - diazepam 2mg.

Its my first time & yet it takes no effect on me. Popped in another tab 2 hours later but i only slept for 3hours. Oh dear, whats happening to my body?! Aint it suppose to knock me out in 30minutes?

Uh huh, something must be very wrong with me! Dang!!

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2010-08-16T18:44:00.000+08:00

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BLACK OR RED?

2010-08-16T18:17:00.002+08:00

Sorry for not updating my blog for the past 10 days. Been pretty depressed due to work. I guess im going thru some slight depression. Having suicidal thoughts & being so negative all the time. Im not looking forward to work now!

Had a long weekend last week, but a busy one. Gusto BBQ cum swimming session at Jenny's place last Fri after our half day work cause of YOG opening in NUS so all NUS staff was entitled to half day work. But that day still sucks to the maximum! Went interview at Eye Retina Surgery on Sat in Town, attended Hasinah's solemnization at Al-Falah mosque on Sun in Town. Slacked & met boyfie on Mon.

Everyday is a sucky day for me now. I actually dream of work stuff almost everyday. I think im too stress! On Wed, i actually dream of me being short listed by ERS & was asked to start work on the 12th Sept. I tot i got no chance anymore cause people normally says that the dream is the opposite of reality.

Well, they actually called me today & i was really shortlisted! I think im so lucky cause there were 3 person whom went for the interview & yet i got the job! So i guess this olden saying of "All dreams are the opposite of reality." are not true at all. Superstitious saying only luh!

Im happy that i got the job & is really looking forward to joining them asap! Tender my resignation notice today & is awaiting to complete the resignation template so that the HR can let me know when is my last day! Hope it will not take long! Yayness~!

But apart from this, today which is the Friday the 13th was a damn unlucky one for me. Went to work today & did went out early as i have patient at 8:30AM. Wore a pair of pumps which was given by boyfie years back, went out, took the lift, walked less then 10 steps & the right sole fall off. Make my way home to change to another pair of pumps.

Went to work & met boyfie after work & we headed to Marina Square. As we were walking, my right sole came off again! Read carefully!! Its 2 different pair of pumps, both wore for the second time & i was so "lucky" that both the right sole came off on the same day! A bad shoe day! An unlucky Friday the 13th!

Immediately limped into a shoe shop, brought a pair of purple heels which cost me SGD79.90 & after walking for like 30mins, the shoe makes my feet damn painful! In the end, i went to Rubi to get another pair of slippers. I hate myself for wasting so much money today! Damn it!

Published on: Aug 13, 2010 @ 22:50

What's happy?

2010-08-16T18:16:00.003+08:00

Whats the definition of happy?

1. delighted, pleased, or glad, as over a particular thing
NO! Not everyone who is smiling & laughing away means they are happy! Deep down in their heart, they might not be happy!
2. characterized by or indicative of pleasure, contentment, or joy
Mood are just temporary! Someone may feel sad one minute after they feel happy.
3. favored by fortune; fortunate or lucky
NO! Not all rich man are happy! Money cant buy happiness!

So whats happy?

For me, this word is no longer in my dictionary, it was deleted unknowingly ages ago. Every smile was an act. :)

2 & a half more days to weekend! God, its barely mid week and im already counting down! Half day on Fri because of YOG! Well, it makes no difference thou! Gonna have a busy weekend ahead!

I kept asking myself, "Is this what i should do?" ever since i receive the call this evening, this question kept repeating in my mind. I dont knw if im doing the correct thing but one thing i know for sure - You never try, you never know!

I hate this week because of JCI! FYI, JCI is an audit around hospitals & the auditor will actually grab any staff to question them about the hospital's mission, vision etc. Every staff was reminded to wear & behave professionally with hair bun-ed & so on.

Everything is bullshit cause everything was rehearsed because of JCI. Things changed to perfect because of JCI. Everything is so superficial during JCI! Hopefully the week ends quickly! I fucking hate JCI maximum!!! Frankly speaking, whats the use of auditing the standard of the hospital when everything is so superficial?

Published on: Aug 3, 2010 @ 21:20

Fate or Luck?

2010-08-16T18:16:00.000+08:00

I felt better after a talk with Jenny, & i finally figure out whats the damn fucking problem with me - im under trained! Well, partly is my fault but mostly is my luck! Who can i blame then? If im fated to be like this, let it be then. Jenny says, i took the least time to go solo among everyone, but it wasn't is a good thing thou!

Im gonna give myself more time & see if things improve. If not, then too bad! I dont wanna give up so early, but then stress keeps making me feel like giving up. Likewise, im slowly hating it. I felt the fear each & everytime when the job is done, fearing that i might make mistake again. I felt so left alone cause everyone assume i knew, but the real thing is, i dont knw them myself!

Only my twin - Jeslyn knew what im going thru cause we both felt it the same way. Lucky to have her with me! Cant help it, but im still stress much! I hope she dont go! T.T

Published on: Jul 31, 2010 @ 14:01